Thank you for the advice! Currently the only thing I managed to do was go to a hotel. It was really painful to walk into her in the house and not have anything to say.
Then you need to dump him. As someone else already said, a boundary is a rule you put on yourself about how you'll respond. It's not a rule you get to put on him (because you can't control anyone else).
Your second option is to drop the boundary. You're going to have a very naked time finding a young man who doesn't look at porn.
See, I probably would have reacted similarly without all the crying. I need to plan to be away from work. I have projects and deadlines and other people to work with and around. My boss would 1000% give my husband the go ahead on this but I would be so stressed leaving during a day I hadn't planned on leaving.
My husband has called my work place to inquire about showing up with items for Valentine's day and our anniversary etc. So I've come in to him in my office with flowers, candy and other little gifts and usually he takes me to lunch, but I'm not gone a whole day, just over my lunch break.
I completely understand that you put thought and effort into this and really wanted her to love it. Unfortunately it sounds like you missed the mark. That's ok. Now you know. Just move on and do surprises while she's off work lol
P.s my husband love going to the spa together. There are couple massages for a reason lol
lmao he doesn't understand the things you do? does he think you were born with the natural ability to do all of these things and know what needs to be done? he needs to figure it out. he needs to be a partner, or he needs to leave. you shouldn't have to ask him to do anything when he only has two jobs to take care of. he doesn't do it bc he knows you will get frustrated and do it yourself. he doesn't respect the effort you make. he needs to learn how to be a big boy, this is ridiculous.
The renovations have a deadline, else there are SERIOUS fines to be paid (they would financially ruin us if we have to pay them), so we can't take the renovation slow.
On the chores… I suppose you're right…
I disagree on 2 months being an eternity though. When you go live! with your partner ideally you do that as equals, and with the desire to do so. Those kinds of things don't change overnight. And it became more than just living together. These kinds of commitments I don't want to do just to “go along”.
I see, thanks for your honest reply. We all have a past right? ? It’s a tough one to call because you could push him further underground and my sneaky if you ask him. If you don’t it could eat you up not knowing! Oh dear, this is a pickle my lovely. Tell me you decision when you’re ready my friend J
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Thank you for the advice! Currently the only thing I managed to do was go to a hotel. It was really painful to walk into her in the house and not have anything to say.
Then you need to dump him. As someone else already said, a boundary is a rule you put on yourself about how you'll respond. It's not a rule you get to put on him (because you can't control anyone else).
Your second option is to drop the boundary. You're going to have a very naked time finding a young man who doesn't look at porn.
you sound ridiculous.
See, I probably would have reacted similarly without all the crying. I need to plan to be away from work. I have projects and deadlines and other people to work with and around. My boss would 1000% give my husband the go ahead on this but I would be so stressed leaving during a day I hadn't planned on leaving.
My husband has called my work place to inquire about showing up with items for Valentine's day and our anniversary etc. So I've come in to him in my office with flowers, candy and other little gifts and usually he takes me to lunch, but I'm not gone a whole day, just over my lunch break.
I completely understand that you put thought and effort into this and really wanted her to love it. Unfortunately it sounds like you missed the mark. That's ok. Now you know. Just move on and do surprises while she's off work lol
P.s my husband love going to the spa together. There are couple massages for a reason lol
I just want her though. That's the thing I'd do anything to save this relationship.
lmao he doesn't understand the things you do? does he think you were born with the natural ability to do all of these things and know what needs to be done? he needs to figure it out. he needs to be a partner, or he needs to leave. you shouldn't have to ask him to do anything when he only has two jobs to take care of. he doesn't do it bc he knows you will get frustrated and do it yourself. he doesn't respect the effort you make. he needs to learn how to be a big boy, this is ridiculous.
Stop rewarding his bad behavior with ut presence
The renovations have a deadline, else there are SERIOUS fines to be paid (they would financially ruin us if we have to pay them), so we can't take the renovation slow.
On the chores… I suppose you're right…
I disagree on 2 months being an eternity though. When you go live! with your partner ideally you do that as equals, and with the desire to do so. Those kinds of things don't change overnight. And it became more than just living together. These kinds of commitments I don't want to do just to “go along”.
I see, thanks for your honest reply. We all have a past right? ? It’s a tough one to call because you could push him further underground and my sneaky if you ask him. If you don’t it could eat you up not knowing! Oh dear, this is a pickle my lovely. Tell me you decision when you’re ready my friend J