I woke my husband up at 2 am on 12/30/18 and he drove me to the hospital. They tried to send me home bc they thought I was faking my pain but he insisted they do more tests. Turns out I had a perforated ulcer and needed emergency surgery.
He massaged my neck as they explained the procedure to me, kissed me and told me he loved me and he’d see me soon. When I woke up a few hours later he was by my side.
I was in the hospital for a week and he was there every night (including New Year’s Eve—he would’ve never have left me to go to a party) sleeping in the recliner and going to work from the hospital.
Your boyfriend doesn’t care about you, OP. I know that’s hard to hear but it’s the truth. You could’ve died and he doesn’t care. You deserve better and I hope your recovery is quick and as painless as possible.
Thank you for your comment. I canceled last night and never do I hear this man cry but he is sobbing admitting the fact that he is worried he will treat me poorly the way that his father treated his mother.
He still wants to marry me but has been back and forth due to this reason and began nitpicking problems that weren’t even really there to begin with.
OP curiously silent .. guess they weren't expecting a barrage of truth…OP I hope you've given your head a shake and apologized to your daughter for the string of shitty adults you've brought to her life and failed to protect her from.
I know and it sucks because I’ve been basically bragging about him to my granddad. When I tell my granddad about someone, it’s very serious how much I like them. :((
Please go to your therapist before you make any further decisions. *Do not * go to therapy with him, it's a very bad idea to go to therapy with your abuser
Be very careful about seggs with him at this stage — he may try to baby trap you.
Can this man's “fundamental values ” really change overnight?
No. Not overnight, not on his own. I went back to your first post. This wasn't about one dress that he didn't like. He felt like it was his place to go through all your clothes and tell you what you are allowed to wear. That's very messed up
Sex can have different importance for different people. I personally am quite happy without it. Sounds like OP and bf have different needs and expectations in that department
You need to not have sex and lock down your side of the birth control.
'Baby fever' causes gf/bf's to do bizarre shit they regret (sometimes only when caught).
Don't have sex with someone this singleminded unless you know your condoms have been locked away from their access and be sure to use spermicidal gel. You don't want anyone injecting contents from used condoms and calling it an accident.
Once that is sorted:
Stop being hesitant about this when you speak!
“No, we are not even remotely stable financially or in our relationship. Stop bringing it up because I am not ready now. We are not ready now and I have no interest in trying to 'figure it out' and struggle for years.”
Be clear. If you don't want a child now – say it in clear words.
Omg first I listen/read your post like every 3 months. Second. What is in the letter??? Genuinlyni hate suspense. I get you are a real person with real emotions. But this is a story which I will tell my kids. I need to know what it's in the letter
You have receipts
I woke my husband up at 2 am on 12/30/18 and he drove me to the hospital. They tried to send me home bc they thought I was faking my pain but he insisted they do more tests. Turns out I had a perforated ulcer and needed emergency surgery.
He massaged my neck as they explained the procedure to me, kissed me and told me he loved me and he’d see me soon. When I woke up a few hours later he was by my side.
I was in the hospital for a week and he was there every night (including New Year’s Eve—he would’ve never have left me to go to a party) sleeping in the recliner and going to work from the hospital.
Your boyfriend doesn’t care about you, OP. I know that’s hard to hear but it’s the truth. You could’ve died and he doesn’t care. You deserve better and I hope your recovery is quick and as painless as possible.
I hate how “we weren’t official” is a catch all excuse nowadays, fook that.
Thank you for your comment. I canceled last night and never do I hear this man cry but he is sobbing admitting the fact that he is worried he will treat me poorly the way that his father treated his mother.
He still wants to marry me but has been back and forth due to this reason and began nitpicking problems that weren’t even really there to begin with.
OP curiously silent .. guess they weren't expecting a barrage of truth…OP I hope you've given your head a shake and apologized to your daughter for the string of shitty adults you've brought to her life and failed to protect her from.
It’s emotional manipulation. If he unalived himself, HE CHOSE to do that. You didn’t “make” him do anything.
Do not engage with this creep anymore. A 22 year old has no reason to befriend a tween and then possibly groom them into a romantic relationship.
This screams “scam”. Every thing you’ve mentioned that made me take pause.
I know and it sucks because I’ve been basically bragging about him to my granddad. When I tell my granddad about someone, it’s very serious how much I like them. :((
The “proof” is for if she decides she wants a divorce.
Exactly.
Please go to your therapist before you make any further decisions. *Do not * go to therapy with him, it's a very bad idea to go to therapy with your abuser
Be very careful about seggs with him at this stage — he may try to baby trap you.
Can this man's “fundamental values ” really change overnight?
No. Not overnight, not on his own. I went back to your first post. This wasn't about one dress that he didn't like. He felt like it was his place to go through all your clothes and tell you what you are allowed to wear. That's very messed up
it is NEVER the victims fault that they got raped. disgusting you would suggest that.
Fair enough. Not a lot to lose for the time being then it seems. Worst case just some fun outings and etc.
Sex can have different importance for different people. I personally am quite happy without it. Sounds like OP and bf have different needs and expectations in that department
You probably will never outdo her since she does gifts so well. Putting love and care into a gift should be your aim instead.
You need to not have sex and lock down your side of the birth control.
'Baby fever' causes gf/bf's to do bizarre shit they regret (sometimes only when caught).
Don't have sex with someone this singleminded unless you know your condoms have been locked away from their access and be sure to use spermicidal gel. You don't want anyone injecting contents from used condoms and calling it an accident.
Once that is sorted:
Stop being hesitant about this when you speak!
“No, we are not even remotely stable financially or in our relationship. Stop bringing it up because I am not ready now. We are not ready now and I have no interest in trying to 'figure it out' and struggle for years.”
Be clear. If you don't want a child now – say it in clear words.
Omg first I listen/read your post like every 3 months. Second. What is in the letter??? Genuinlyni hate suspense. I get you are a real person with real emotions. But this is a story which I will tell my kids. I need to know what it's in the letter