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Amelia <3 i'm back!, y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Amelia <3 i'm back!
Date: January 12, 2023
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If you want to help her work through this, tell her when she says it that it really makes you feel quite terrible about the relationship and yourself. If she has not seen a therapist, she needs one, and if she hasnt seen a psychiatrist for diagnosis and medication, she needs to. Mood swings like that can be caused by a lot of different mental health disorders.
I, myself, had to realize what i was saying when i said something similar to my spouse. It took until he said something for it to click what I was doing. Sometimes we don't realize the affect trauma takes on our current relationships.
I don't know if I should try and work through it? Issue an ultimatum? I spent three days asking if they were ok and I got one sentence back and nothing after. I don't want to say “it's over” in case it tips them over the edge. I have my own mental health to deal with as well. All opinions will be welcome!
Hi. In a similar age range to you. Have been in a relationship with a partner who suffers from mental illness for almost twenty years now. So, for whatever it's worth, I speak from experience.
This would be workable if they sought medical treatment. It is not incurable and can be helped with therapy and medication. Both things they have refused multiple times over several years.
See this? This right here? This is unworkable. It doesn't matter how much effort, time or love you put into this relationship. If they won't put work into themselves, all you're going to be doing is enabling their dysfunction and ruining your own life in the process. I have boundless sympathy and patience for people suffering from mental illness, but they HAVE to be willing to address it.
The guilt, exhaustion and resentment you currently feel will not magically get better with time. It will accumulate, and calcify. Eventually that resentment will turn to bitterness, and you will lose what respect you have for your partner. You will end up in a parent/child dynamic, where you feel trapped by their learned helplessness and they put no effort into recovery because they're using your companionship as a crutch.
So, your options are:
Spend the rest of your life in a one sided relationship caring for a dependent.
Issue an ultimatum. I cannot say what treatment best suits your partner's needs, it will probably be multi-factoral. Therapy is a good jumping off point. CBT/DBT works very well for many people. Proper rest, exercise and nutrition is essential, but often comes later one some equilibrium is restored. Drugs are an option for acute situations, just make sure it's a dialogue between patient and physician. Misdiagnosis is common, and it can take time and patience to find drugs that are effective. You can end up in a spiral where drugs are the first stop, and eventually you don't know where the drug side effects end and the mental illness begins.
Leave, as the relationship as it currently stands is unhealthy for both of you. How your partner reacts to your departure is not your responsibility. Easy to say and hot to come to terms with, I know, but it's essential you understand this. You deserve peace, and rest, and love, and support just as much as he does, and right now you're on a fast road to your own mental health crisis. Prioritizing your own sanity and well being does not make you “a terrible person”. It makes you a responsible one.
I'm sorry that this degenerated to this point, but it's essential that you draw firm boundaries now and hold them.
That’s the key issue for me… it’s that I’ve been so clear about not liking it and she just calls me toxic and possessive and weird for it
I mean, it sounds like both sides need to grow up.
Your grown ass husband and your grown ass parents are both being the assholes in this situation. If they both have a problem, then go talk about it like adults.
Now, this puts you in a very hot position. Youre in the middle between your life partner and your parents. The best things to do in this situation is to either take them to family counseling or have them sit and talk it out with a mediator.
Never get back with a cheater – why do people do this?
You're incompatible, so you break up is what you do.
I’ve come off a night shift so I think I’m partially delirious.
Then love you should just be friends. You two don't sound very good for each other