Damn, I mean take it it easy here. Some communication is probably a good place to start rather than jumping to dramatic reactions encouraged by redditors who don't understand that it could be an otherwise promising and healthy relationship.
The amount of people salivating at the idea of complete annihilation of the relationship over this issue is frankly disturbing and probably says a lot about the type of people offering advice on here.
You need to sit him down and have a n honest and frank discussion with him. If he tries to resist or says he doesn't want very clearly tell him that his opinions have run out and so has indulging his wants.
Let him know you understand that he has been struggling and that you were willing go support him and pull him through this but he has done nothing to actively help and heal himself. You can no longer pull him through this has he has effectively dug his heels in and is resisting your efforts to pull him through.
Let him know that you can no longer carry the weight of everything on your shoulders and he needs to force himself to participate in supporting the 2 of you. The focus has been on him so intensely and for so long that you are exhausted and becoming resentful. He needs to recognize that you are struggling too and it is not okay to cater to his struggles and leave you to deal with yours by yourself.
Tell him you will give him a day or two to consider whether he is capable of having a relationship right now or not and that you'll completely understand if he decides he isn't. But let him.know you are not capable of continuing in the relationship as it is.
You’re fundamentally incompatible. You could propose a friendship, but staying in the relationship really isn’t fair to her if you’re incompatible and you’re apathetic about the situation.
Flirted with him because of other people's expectations. Maybe. Maybe not. This is the one with less believability, because it is less believable. But it does happen. People expect women to be flirty and fun, and if you are not flirty and fun then you are cold and callous, and thereby you are mean and cruel. It does happen. But again, she isn't really saying that she flirted for that reason, there is far more wiggle room between the extremes for this, which is why it was minor in what I said and less believable as an excuse over all. Kissed because of other peoples expectations? NO, that is idiotic! Kissed because of his expectations? YES! Women, and men too, do this ALL THE FREAKING TIME! She may not have felt safe to back away or say no. This happens, once again, ALL THE TIME.
The problem is it doesn't matter. You're saying she's potentially flirting and kissing other men because she's uncomfortable to not do so? Comfort is the key word here, not even danger. This is public function.
I don’t know what you want to hear by posting in this sub. You’re obviously going to get told that the relationship isnt real, he doesnt respect you etc etc. they make up their own minds about the relationship without even knowing you or him. Of course everyone here WONT take you seriously either because your
Alternatively, you two could start doing the exact same thing to her. And when she inevitably calls you out, “oh sorry, I was looking at your laundry” or “I don’t wanna make you upset, I’ll leave.” After a few times she will probably get the message. If direct doesn’t work, show her.
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Damn, I mean take it it easy here. Some communication is probably a good place to start rather than jumping to dramatic reactions encouraged by redditors who don't understand that it could be an otherwise promising and healthy relationship.
The amount of people salivating at the idea of complete annihilation of the relationship over this issue is frankly disturbing and probably says a lot about the type of people offering advice on here.
You need to sit him down and have a n honest and frank discussion with him. If he tries to resist or says he doesn't want very clearly tell him that his opinions have run out and so has indulging his wants.
Let him know you understand that he has been struggling and that you were willing go support him and pull him through this but he has done nothing to actively help and heal himself. You can no longer pull him through this has he has effectively dug his heels in and is resisting your efforts to pull him through.
Let him know that you can no longer carry the weight of everything on your shoulders and he needs to force himself to participate in supporting the 2 of you. The focus has been on him so intensely and for so long that you are exhausted and becoming resentful. He needs to recognize that you are struggling too and it is not okay to cater to his struggles and leave you to deal with yours by yourself.
Tell him you will give him a day or two to consider whether he is capable of having a relationship right now or not and that you'll completely understand if he decides he isn't. But let him.know you are not capable of continuing in the relationship as it is.
Buy a thong bikini and go swimming.
You’re fundamentally incompatible. You could propose a friendship, but staying in the relationship really isn’t fair to her if you’re incompatible and you’re apathetic about the situation.
Flirted with him because of other people's expectations. Maybe. Maybe not. This is the one with less believability, because it is less believable. But it does happen. People expect women to be flirty and fun, and if you are not flirty and fun then you are cold and callous, and thereby you are mean and cruel. It does happen. But again, she isn't really saying that she flirted for that reason, there is far more wiggle room between the extremes for this, which is why it was minor in what I said and less believable as an excuse over all. Kissed because of other peoples expectations? NO, that is idiotic! Kissed because of his expectations? YES! Women, and men too, do this ALL THE FREAKING TIME! She may not have felt safe to back away or say no. This happens, once again, ALL THE TIME.
The problem is it doesn't matter. You're saying she's potentially flirting and kissing other men because she's uncomfortable to not do so? Comfort is the key word here, not even danger. This is public function.
I don’t know what you want to hear by posting in this sub. You’re obviously going to get told that the relationship isnt real, he doesnt respect you etc etc. they make up their own minds about the relationship without even knowing you or him. Of course everyone here WONT take you seriously either because your
Did you not see the part where I mentioned she answered “yes” to the question whether she'd be interested in swinging?
Alternatively, you two could start doing the exact same thing to her. And when she inevitably calls you out, “oh sorry, I was looking at your laundry” or “I don’t wanna make you upset, I’ll leave.” After a few times she will probably get the message. If direct doesn’t work, show her.
If we all could only be so lucky /s