“it's extremely naked for ME” This isn't about you. Stop trying to make it about you. It's about how your boyfriend feels about his family. Of course, people are never going to show how abusive they truly are until you owe them a favor or anything they can hold above your head. Just leave.
How long have you been apart?
Why did you marry knowing this situation?
Why are you tolerating this behavior? You’re a grown ass woman. It does not get better.
“it's extremely naked for ME” This isn't about you. Stop trying to make it about you. It's about how your boyfriend feels about his family. Of course, people are never going to show how abusive they truly are until you owe them a favor or anything they can hold above your head. Just leave.