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Date: October 12, 2022
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I know it’s nude to believe, but try to acknowledge they tried their best. No parents knows how to be the perfect parents, and they might have a lot of mental health issues that really go unresolved. I know it’s hot to not resent them for what they did wrong, but they really did try their best. Just wanted to throw that in. Not saying you have to forgive them or forget what’s happened in your family, just wanted to acknowledge that.
You’re an adult. You don’t have to talk to, love, visit, or do anything for anybody that you don’t want to. Youre the only person that gets to or can make decisions about your own life. Make decisions that you think are best for you. Good luck
I was taught that this is abusive, and I think googling this and finding commiseration may help you. I'm so sorry, that sounds super traumatic and gross.
Probably proves Ali's point: everyone is doing it! /s
When he told me, that he got the new $30 game, he told me he's selling his stuff (electronics, games etc.) so that's why he has money. He recently sold a phone for like $450.
Or you're stuck on the timing of her lies.
Don't do anything. If you've known her for years but don't fancy her, then there's no reason to pursue her. You're both just 18, so you will both change a lot the next years. There's a good chance you'll grow apart and the similarities you share now will diminish
Sounds like you think of her mostly as something nice that will treat you nice. It's not a good foundation for a relationship, and it's not a good reason to pursue her.
You are putting your “new” family over her but she’s an adult, your children are minors. From what you’ve said it seems like she just is jealous of the opportunities your younger children have that she didn’t. Do you spend time with her on your own without your wife and younger kids? Make sure you put aside some time to talk to her, spend time with her. Maybe go on a father daughter trip now and then.
But she does seem a bit entitled if she expects you to pay for her entire car cost. Obviously if you had some extra cash you could have given her some. But most families don’t have that flexibility and most adult children don’t expect their parents to pay for all of those hidden costs either. You’re right she could have taken a bus. Losing her job was a consequence she made.
It’s nude to say if she’s that resentful because she’s entitled or if there’s years of resentment because you did prioritize the new family over her. In this specific situation it seems like you didn’t. But those feelings must come from somewhere so it seems like a good 1v1 heart to heart talk is needed.
You are putting your “new” family over her but she’s an adult, your children are minors. From what you’ve said it seems like she just is jealous of the opportunities your younger children have that she didn’t. Do you spend time with her on your own without your wife and younger kids? Make sure you put aside some time to talk to her, spend time with her. Maybe go on a father daughter trip now and then.
But she does seem a bit entitled if she expects you to pay for her entire car cost. Obviously if you had some extra cash you could have given her some. But most families don’t have that flexibility and most adult children don’t expect their parents to pay for all of those hidden costs either. You’re right she could have taken a bus. Losing her job was a consequence she made.
It’s hot to say if she’s that resentful because she’s entitled or if there’s years of resentment because you did prioritize the new family over her. In this specific situation it seems like you didn’t. But those feelings must come from somewhere so it seems like a good 1v1 heart to heart talk is needed.
One of the worst I have seen on here in ages. I barely comment on here but I do read quite a bit. This one got out of hand SOOOO quickly, too.
And if you think that’s a fair characterization of what happened and that someone should stay in an uncomfortable situation to save money, leave mine. Bye.
The photographer was actively participating in the “joke.”
I agree that you should get counseling…
We don't know anything about you or him.
“When our relationship began it was a mutual agreement that when we settled down we would move back to my hometown to plant roots and start a family,”
My question is did he really agree with this? Was he just going along? Did you bully him into it? Did he truly agree but now has changed his mind?
So when he turned it down, was it “well I never really wanted to do that in the first place?”
And then why did he not feel comfortable telling you? Because he knew he messed up? Or because he didn't feel safe in telling you? Like are you the bully? Or is he just acting independently?
Does he really want to have kids? or have them now? If you two don't move your home town then you can't have kids, is what he may be thinking.
So if you want to stay together, you two need to learn how to discuss and make mutual decisions that you both truly agree on.
For two years you couldn't cough up that you like to be touched in bed?
YTA
You are treating her like a commodity and not a partner.
If you saw her as your partner who has wishes and expectations herself you would discuss the plans for the weekend with her in advance instead of just dumping the information on her when she picks you up.
And by “discuss” I mean talking openly about it with her being able to contribute and you trying to find a compromise – like “I'd like to go hiking with my friends but I'll be back at your place by 10 pm” or “I'd like to go hiking with my friends next weekend but I'll stay at your place the whole time the weekend after”. You might even try and find activities with your friends your gf could take part in.
Yeah I’m sure she’ll come back around, just gotta wait and see ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Start with contacting a lawyer. I saw one of your comments too that he has/had been away for 48 hours because he is hiding. He is a cheater and you trusted your gut. Let the gut walk you out of this marriage too and leave him.