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Date: September 22, 2022
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I have left the relationship, I’m moving out into a different apartment. I feel like having happy parents (no matter how that looks) is what is best for our child. We are trying our best be keep things civil for the sake of our daughter. I have brought up going to the doctor multiple times and the only response is that ‘they don’t help me. They never have answers.’ His license is revoked so I offered to drive him to the doctor as long as he made the appointment. As far as getting a male family member or friend involved, he would be red in the face pissed if I told anyone in his bro-group about how much pain he is in and how often he has the pains
He knew her boundaries. He chose to ignore them. She chose to keep them.
Bruh…
My husbands father taught him that men dont cry as a kid although as he got older he started to tell him otherwise but the original lesson stuck and it took him many many years to be ok to show feelings in front of me. Even after nearly 30 years together he still will not show full emotion around me and has only cried a handful of times but no longer feels ashamed about it. Showing your vulnerability around a woman is showing you trust her and feel comfortable enough to do so and there is nothing is nothing more powerful than seeing a man comfortable enough with who he is in aspects of himself. If my husband hadn't started to show that he was a human and wasnt a robot I dont know if I would've stayed with him. I feel more protected by him as a person who can show his true self to me. If a woman ever makes fun of you for being yourself and showing your vulnerable side then she is not someone you want to be with.
You need to work on yourself, therapy can help.
Being engaged or married won't change your insecurity. There's no guarantee that anyone will stay forever. He's divorced so it should be obvious to you. You don't need to rush.
Thanks! I’ve been in therapy for quite sometime now and I’ve been addressing this issue slowly over the past 6-7 months.
I’m sober. I’m sober because I’m an alcoholic and addict. But. I make a great designated driver. I don’t mind being around people drinking or drugging as long as it’s not sloppy. I don’t think anyone has ever judged me for abstaining. If you don’t have an issue with her drug use, there shouldn’t be a problem.
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
I kinda agreed to it with the exception that the third party would not kiss me or her, she disagreed.
Disagreed? In what way, like she insists there's kissing even if it makes you uncomfortable?
I also said that if we had a (mmf) threesome I would also want to have a (mff) threesome. She disagreed with this also
Uh-huh, and her reasoning for this is what?
Aside from the fact that you don't really seem into this and it will destroy a relationship that already seems doomed, she's doesn't respect your boundaries even when you compromise in a big way and has double standards
Get rid of her, your way young and there are people who wouldn't pressure you this way, let alone in such a self centered manner
I want to side with you but I have an icky feeling you’re doing this for the gram
I feel like being critical in response won't help. Even if it's warranted. He's coming from a place of insecurity, gotta find a way to build that up
This is to show you how much power he has over you. He can pin you down. It's abuse. Please get yourself safe. He's escalating because he thinks you're trapped by marriage and pregnancy. It doesn't get better from here.
Yup, abusers abuse that trust that you put in them once you've tied your life to theirs. A good person does the opposite, they want you to be safe and will, not even deliberately but because they're good people, show you through their actions that they deserved that trust.
You should do what’s best for yourself. Staying with her is not good for her either if you don’t love her. Let her find someone better who does. Good luck.