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Birth Date: 1988-09-20
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Date: September 25, 2022
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Compliment things they choose, not things they are.
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Well if you desire to be with her long term then you may need to “officially convert” to Mormonism. They are very strict on how you can get married. From what I know they won't marry a Mormon to a non-converted.
So are you comfortable with that? Or not.
Thank you so much for your advice. Our vet says the cysts are cosmetic, and shouldn’t be removed because they will just come back (thats what happened with her chest). I tried telling my wife that we should just wait, but she had a full blown meltdown and cried for hours, saying that all she wants is a baby and that it’s like ripping her heart out to wait. I tried bringing it up again but she said there’s nothing to discuss because we aren’t rehoming her and we aren’t waiting for a baby because we’ve waited long enough. I agree with the dog needing exercise, she can’t go to dog parks because she will vomit of anxiety and whenever we try to have her out back, she just paces and barks at car noises, people talking, birds, etc so we have to bring her back inside.
Either is a possibility. Doesn’t matter which.
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Hey everyone I’d like some advice on this because I don’t know what to do and this seems like a unique situation. *Typo in title, he is 23.
A day ago I sent my husband a very long message about how I felt in regards to him withholding affection or generally being very cold as of the past few months. Essentially he had stopped giving me compliments, didn’t hug me or initiate physical contact, ask me how I was, or take me on dates. It was a bit of a vent and me expressing how I felt invisible, unloved, all that jazz : ,).
His response was an equally long message, but I was taken aback by what he said. He went on a rant about how things at home weren’t clean, that he could see my hair on the bathroom floor, that I don’t keep the apartment clean (lots of cursing involved) and said that he doesn’t feel like being basic level affectionate or show me love really because of the environment he is in. He brought up that he pays the bills etc, which I never thought he’d hold above me. It feels like I failed as a wife and don’t deserve anything due to it.
This very much hurt and confused me. I’m a homemaker and he works full time. I was under the assumption I was keeping things tidy. Sure I’d let dishes pile up at times or get behind on laundry here or there, but he never complained or brought it to issue. He also knows I suffer from extreme bouts of depression in which the apartment turns less than ideal for a day or two and then gets back to basic cleanliness. Entire time I thought I was giving my best, he thought I wasn’t doing anything. TLDR with the convo he said he expects everything spotless. That is a whole other topic but;
I feel like this relationship will become transactional. I feel backed into a corner that if I don’t clean to his standards I don’t deserve a hug or a kiss or a date or any form of non platonic interaction. I expressed I felt this way and he said he can’t make me feel better or be in a better mood if things aren’t as what he said. It’s making me horribly depressed. I also can’t wrap my head around how not having a 100% spotless home 24.7 can relate to such a withdrawal in his affection for me. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand, please help me with all of this
Edit: many are taking the comments under the assumption I don’t clean or keep tidy. I believe i worded it poorly. I clean up every single day. There will be dishes in the sink maybe once in a month. I clean every aspect, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, and cook fresh meals every single day unless he has a day off and we eat out. I thought I was giving it my all, but he expects a totally different standard to be met or else he withholds affection
I think his definition of love – and what a loving marriage is, doesn’t align with you or MOST people. I had a relationship like this that affection was withdrawn – used as punish enemy and reward. As you said transactional. If you have a support system in place ( family friends) see if you can get some assistance in starting over. I feel like this is not something what counseling or therapy will fix. Sorry. Good luck.