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Bella, 26 y.o.
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Date: September 20, 2022
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This sounds like Stockholm Syndrome. You need to get out and find a different path. Again it won't be easy. But do you want to be a prisoner or on-line free.
I understood perfectly, thanks. If it's not a place for trolls, then why are you trying to convince everyone that Dad is in the right by making son-in-law beg can he spend Christmas with his own kids?
Also, nothing I said constitutes trolling – OP needs to grow up, as does her father. That's basically the opinion of everyone in this thread, bar you.
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I’m surprised by these comments honestly. I thought more people would see his POV. I personally would feel a little uncomfortable if my boyfriend commented on women like that talking about how naked they are. I know he finds other women attractive but I don’t want to hear about it. I also wouldn’t make a comment like that to my boyfriend. I wouldn’t want him to compare himself to others and I care about how he feels so I wouldn’t want to make him feel insecure in any way.
I think you’re being a little insensitive and I think this is a double standard. If a woman said, ‘my boyfriend follows hot IG girls and I hate it, it makes me insecure’ everyone would agree that her boyfriend is being insensitive. But if you talk about how naked an actor is.. how is that different? You really wouldn’t mind if you saw a group chat where your boyfriend gushed about naked hot a female actor or pornstar is? I’d feel sick to my stomach.
Idk maybe I need to do some self reflection because of these comments but I’d probably be hurt if my boyfriend commented on a nude actor right to my face. It would make me insecure and I’d just compare myself to her and feel shitty. He probably wouldn’t appreciate that either. In my relationships, we never talked about how nude other people are.
It’s not a right. It’s a necessity! It’s a deal breaker. Tell her to stop or move.
It sounds like he might be unhappy with the amount of sex you two have. This means he wants to have sex with you more. So that means he does want you sexually. It slipped out as a joke. For whatever reason he chose not to talk to you about this. I can see why he would be uncomfortable talking to you about this issue based on how you reacted to his joke.
Couples having different sex drives is common. It's important to talk about this honestly in order to make sure the relationship is working for both people. Making him from guilty for expressing himself is a bad idea.
I'm going to say, this is a two part issue, where the initial question you have is a pretty easy, no, you're not unreasonable at all, shouldn't feel bad, and shouldn't even think twice about your choice.
Giving birth is an incredibly hot thing to go through, emotionally, and physically, and the only thing that you should be worried about during that process, is your health, and the health of the baby, and you being uncomfortable in any way for any reason, is not something to be ashamed of or have a second thought about.
The second part is more difficult, and really I don't know your relationship, I don't know you or your husband, and so I'm not going to say either of you should or should not do one thing or the other. But, my general advice for any relationship is to communicate any and all feelings one has in their head in regards to their partner, and if there is an issue clear it up and work on it. If he is making remarks about your appearance, and it is making you feel unattractive, it is something I think you need to tell him and if he really does find you unattractive, I think it also needs to not be something to make him feel guilty or wrong for, because we as people cannot really control that attraction just like we can't control our feelings. I will also say, while he can't control his attraction, he does need to understand it isn't really his place to control that attraction of you by suggesting surgery, but maybe you can both communicate ways that he can find you more attractive than he already does and how it can be handled in ways to allow you to feel attractive and loved before any discussion is done regarding what you two can work out to be more attractive to each other.
I guess maybe I’m finding out I’m wrong. But I just want to clarify more. Right now currently, I cannot trust that her friends will not try something or do something that could be a catastrophe. I only say this because of the multitude of the times it has happened and I was right beforehand and the amount of hurt she received but for some reason she keeps going back in thinking that this guy friend will be different and such. And to preface she has way more guy friends than girl and that’s just how she is I don’t find anything sus with that, it’s why I love her so much and why we click. I just don’t find it comfortable that she is doing this all over again especially on a cruise where there is a lot of night activities and very low accountability for her guy friends. I trust that if they tried something she would do right but she has been nearly raped multiple times because of her “friends” putting her into terrible situations and her clawing her way out. So yeah, if im controlling im controlling but I can’t say it’s for no reason.
Were you friends for 2 years, or did you just kinda see him around, know about him for 2 years?
If the former, I think there comes an expectation of being more open and vulnerable when you’re in a romantic relationship. He just might not feel ready yet – and you don’t have to know every little thing. Don’t pressure him. Also, maybe he just doesn’t want to relive the bad situation by having to talk about it.
If the latter, then you’ve only really known each other for a few months and you should chill out a little.