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100% with you, honestly, on everything here. Dude needs to make an internal choice/promise, set his own specific boundaries and not do wrong by himself and you (or other person) by compromising them and making things unnecessarily hard and confusing.
Though I can find fault with this logic, it's quite possible that he sets his boundary to second base or third, and not sex until marriage. And if so, he needs to be hones with himself and communicative to you/partner if so.
Though I think the comments saying grinding and finishing in his pants IS sex, is super dumb since it's quite literally not, they're accidentally effectively not wrong from a spiritual/Biblical/sin perspective. Here, he is playing games and teasing you, both of which I hope he becomes self aware of.
Though this is messy now, IMO him setting this boundary and carrying it out in this day and age, with his age is valiant and rare and may lead toward a healthy, positive faithful marriage.
Right I’m just confused not even mad but would like to understand wtf is going on lol
I don't think bringing it up would really help, it would just hurt her.
I also think it's problematic to moralize your own sexuality too much. Being into a certain body type is not reprehensible. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. You can have great sex even if your partner is not 100% what you find visually attractive. Good sex is more than that. Take a relaxed approach, maybe combine the new sexy lingerie with other new things you want to try together and don't put yourself under pressure. Sex is supposed to be about having fun, and guilt doesn't help with thatY
If you try it and it doesn't work out, maybe a (sex) therapist would be a good person to talk to.
You and your girlfriend could also do more sports together, cook healthy meals, etc. This way, the problem may solve itself.
I figured as much. This guy is the bottom of the barrel, but she’s got some self confidence issues that need attention if it’s taking her more than that bad first date to see it.
Good luck. Hope you can speak some sense into her on this dude.
He seems like the opposite of fun. Or joy. You should move on and have someone by your side who enjoys being with you. No time to waste here
Funny how you expect him to sacrifice but you weren't willing to compromise or do the same ? still this is an advice sub and you are not asking for advice
So once I no longer needed his financial support – which I absolutely in hindsight think I felt overly entitled to, but also felt it was the only thing I could “get” from him so I let myself rely on it for longer than I should have – our relationship gradually crumbled because all that was left was shitty behaviour, alienation and a lack of mutual respect.
This just gave me such a different perspective in regards to my own issues. Thank for sharing this!
Communication is key. If it's still weighing on your mind just take him aside and ask him whatever it is that's bothering you (if hes checking them out all the time or whatever). To answer your question, I don't think it's normal. I think his response was a bit insensitive. With a question like that I think most men in a committed relationship would say Sure they're pretty but they're just friends. But every relationship treats those situations differently. If it's not bothering you, let it go
Being caught masturbating is embarrassing, regardless of the situation. There’s a good chance he’s embarrassed about being caught. If that’s the case, just move on. He may go to a different room to avoid waking you up. However, if you suspect he’s having video sex with another woman, that’s a huge difference. Don’t start throwing accusations Willy-nilly, wait until you have more proof. For the time being I’d take this at face value, you caught your man jerking it, and he’s embarrassed.
She cheated not once but twice
I would absolutely get rid of this women. You're young enough to find somebody who won't lie to you and treat you with such little respect
he is trying his luck with your more attractive sister
Asexuality is a spectrum.
It can range from being sex averse to simply having no appetite for it but being willing to put up with it from time to time for a loved one. Each person defines their boundaries differently.
Asexuality is valid and in a hypersexualised world, incredibly difficult to come to terms with for some. It may or may not be a deal breaker in relationships.
That your partner is asexual isn't an issue in and of itself. The issue is that your partner knowingly deceived you, not just about their sexuality but their disinterest in kids, and is showing unwillingness to work towards goals you both agreed to once.
If she had come to this realisation over time, it would be a different matter, and dissolution of the marriage due to changing goals would be fair, but this isn't the case. Your relationship was built on a lie from the get-go.
I'd suggest you figure out what you want and what your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) is before meeting with her.
Couples' counselling sounds like a first step (preferably with a therapist well-versed in LGBTQIA+ issues as acephobia is rampant even with queer spaces) if you both want to make it work. It sounds like she has kind of checked out, unless past trauma makes her withdraw when shit hits the fan.
Taking the dog is not on though. That'd be the last straw for me.
Change your name to hers. Everyone has the same last name, problem solved!
The “why” sounds irrelevant. You want a relationship with him- you are not offering one to this other person. It’s fair to ask for an explanation.
I’d definitely cut off the flirting if he can’t take the next logical step. Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit.
OMG break up with her. It's not like this is going to get any better.
Listen to your gut. Dump this loser. He’s refusing to accept any accountability while simultaneously blaming you for the way his actions made you feel. He is shit. Throw him out
It is emotional abuse, what he's doing to you.
The temper and yellif but also putting the fully on you for being scared, but saying you're reactions make him feel guilty. That is some messed up manipulative behavior.
Some time ago he said not talking would mess things up even more so I am unsure if it would even help to take a break. Currently he is the one who doesn’t talk as much, and I am the only one who makes an effort which has me at a loss on wether I should ask for a break or not.
Fuck you, ass hole, it's naked enough on people without you also trying to silence the abused as well. Gtfo of here you little bitch.
Honestly, what's with people not willing to put their SO's wellbeing above anything ever? Shitty partners
honey he is playing both fields.
He disrespected you. Your self-worth is important.
You need a better man, a prince & he is a toad jackass!
Who said anything about breaking up? is it this Subreddit's tendency to villainize and misconstrue arguments to make the poster look like the bad guy?
I can't control my reaction to it. I wish I could. And no matter what I still love them, and I'd probably be willing to put up with this one difference. I think every couple has one or two seemingly insurmountable disagreements that they find work-arounds or compromises for.
I'm simply asking for advice to help out with this difference.
She sounds like she is taking advantage of your kindness and good nature. Move on from this messy ass woman and find a good one. Or be alone, if that's what would make you happy. Either way, good luck to you.