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Bryanna Rousse, 25 y.o.
Location: Departamento del Valle del Cauca, Colombia
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Bryanna Rousse
Date: November 6, 2022
I would not be getting over this
Obviously the one dude you dated isn't representative of the entire male population. If that were the case, everyone would be miserable
Thanks to you guys, I’m reassured that I should be open and honest and tell him about it. Just out of curiosity, do you think he’ll still want to date me again after finding out that I will be living with a friend that I have hooked up with? What would you do if you were in his shoes?
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This is a long one, my apologies
My gf and I met in highschool and started dating when we were 15 and 16. At the time I had only been in one relationship and it wasn't super serious. In highschool I was not a very good looking kid. I was chubby and had a very high pitched voice. I was a late developer if you will. Either way this meant my options were limited for girls and when my gf showed any amount of romantic interest I instantly asked her out. Our relationship has been great, but between covid and having to do long distance from college it certainly hasn't been without its ups and downs.
At the beginning of summer I returned to my job from college to find new employees there. One of them who practically slid in my dms made it very apperant that she liked me. When I finally understood what her intentions were I made it clear that I had a gf and had no other desires then friendship. She was clearly upset, but was extremely determined. She tried many times again to make attempts at gaining my interest. And even after I continued to tell her I wasn't interested, she still persists.
At the end of my semester recently I told my gf about this girl, and she asked if I would block her. I did, and needless to say this girl was not happy. It was understandable however because she did view our friendship as important as did I, and here I was blocking her. Despite her attempts at trying for more then friendship I still did enjoy our friendship and having someone to talk too.
When I returned for work for the winter, she put a lot of effort into ignoring me for about 3 hours until she finally told me she couldn't. I needed to include this whole story because it has really made me question my relationship.
I should note that I am a very touchy person. I always have been with friends. My love language is touch and I always have hugged, held hands, and leaned on female and some male friends my entire life. Even when I had a gf, I would still do this. None of it is sexual or anything, I just have always valued physical connection and find it important in my life.
Anyways. My relationship has always been fairly good, and I do love my gf. I have had considerations of breaking up in the past (large differences in sex drive, differences in future plans) but all of these things I have felt that I can compromise. I just am afraid that the list continues to grow of things that I have been compromising on, and I won't be able to take it eventually.
One of the biggest things that is stopping me from breaking up with my gf is the fact that our families are very involved. Due to the way we met, and some connections our families are very involved with each other. My mom goes out to dinner with her mom on a regular basis. Her parents come over for dinner on a basis. Either way, breaking up would change alot. This will also change a friendship dynamic as we share a lot of the same home friends. I'm aware breaking up a long term relationship means lots will change and that's scary.
The main thing that keeps coming in my head is that I am really enjoying being craved. Given my higher drive then my gf, and the fact we got together in highschool I never got that feeling of being desired. My coworker makes it clear she wants me, and she is try her hardest to get it. This is what opened my eyes. If dating for four years has left me feeling undesirable, what's 10, 20, 30. I still love my gf, and really enjoy her company, but I'm scared if I'm unhappy now, I will be very unhappy later.
I am unsure if I would even want to get with my coworker, but feeling wanted is extremely validating and super nice to feel. I understand that being in a long term relationship isn't going to be as exciting and lustful as a fresh one, but either way it feels nice to be wanted.
Any advice would be appreciated. Judgment not so much
My dad isn't a big therapy person either.
A support group, maybe? I mentioned r/survivinginfidelity because of this specific issue, but there's got to be some other subreddits related to the other stuff. Maybe even somewhere he can go phisically; since your mother has alcohol issues, take a look at Al-Anon.
Yeah I don’t have issues with guys wanting to hook up with me. I’m not looking for that. I’m looking for a long term relationship and that’s tough to get
Except he sounds like the kind of guy who wouldn't spend money in retirement, either.
Its tough, but remember that you can't resolve whatever emotional trauma or trust issues hes experiencing. Thats a journey that he has to take responsibility for, and your post makes it obvious that hes not ready for any type of serious relationship.
You should probably dial it back for both your sake and his. Let him know straight-up that you respect this boundary that he is setting, but that he can still rely on you if he needs anything.
Well I plan on them to be at least half an hour or 1 hour but in the first 10 min he starts behaving like that and I just hang up
Why with all these posts.
“He's a great man!” When he's not raping me and treating me like his property.
Just asked him if he’d be annoyed if I said no and he said “no I won’t be annoyed just thought it would be nice”
That's your answer. See where things go.
I'm very shocked that everything worked out as well as it did. Your man is very mature for his age. The universe has just given you a gift, feel lucky, most people would not have as good an ending to this story.
Just say “I’m here if I can be helpful” and leave it at that.