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Date: October 16, 2022
Thank you for your response.
She is aware of the mood swings, but she hasn't really shown any interest in talking about it with her gp. As you say, its not my place to push her. We did talk about seeing a therapist together to better learn how to handle it and communicate around it, at her suggestion.
At the moment, I just want her back..
Anger management is something you learn as a child. He needs to be in therapy and you need to run before he hurts you.
Why don't you just speak up about reality?
more like you as in closer to your age.
You're 20! While you may feel that you have a lot of experience in the workforce, you are still just starting out. That's not an insult. Just the way it is. I'm really glad this man has been good to you. We need people like this in our careers and I can think of people from my life that had a similar positive impact for me in my career. I remain grateful for their attention.
This first time we experience things like this in life has a huge effect on us and it sounds like this man gave you one that is very positive and memorable. That's great!
I'm a sentimental person, so I just hope you pay it forward. Treat others in the same way he treated you. Probably an easy ask, since you are smart enough to recognize his kindness in the first place.
Tinder and Grindr account? If he deleted them from his phone, there's got to be at least a confirmation email somewhere? or you can make your own account and try to find him?
Sounds like he’s either not very good at his job or he’s lying or something
Run FAR away, before you end up getting hurt
Why are these comments acting like she's a kid. She is a 25 year old grown ass woman. Your daughter is being a brat.
No penetrative sex ever in a stalemate situation isn't much of a compromise. I actually agree with the person who said they are sexually incompatible.
I'm concerned about the rigid lack of trying to find ways to compromise when his needs are being met and he knows hers aren't.
There is a big difference in terms of side effects between when he's asking and what she's asking. The side effects for her taking oral contraceptives, compared to him using condoms is very lop sided. He's unwilling to compromise wearing a condom which really doesn't seem to be a big deal for him compared to her taking medication that messes with her hormones, weight gain, libido etc.
If this is your first heartbreak then you are always liable to do some stupid/embarrassing stuff. Don't let her make you feel guilty/ease her way back in with you. She revealed herself perfectly in that moment, there can be no excuses for it. Move on from her and don't look back.
Not me but a coworker. But yeah this kind of shit happens and that woman is either really fucking crazy or is fucking someone else on the sly.
I agree, I dunno if she works at a family hospital but that seems like a lot for not even a full work week
Yep
Are you also in therapy?
If it wasn’t malicious, she wouldn’t have lied about it when you confronted her.
Don’t marry this woman dude.
And your goal in life is…? Having your own kids? Making your own money? Or raising someone else’s kids. Being a sex toy. Did you fall in love with him because he’s mature? No shit, he’s 16 years older than you. Why was he at your college? Because he knows these silly dumb college girls just left mama and daddy’s roost and are now easy pickings and it worked. You’re still young. It’s so simple to move on.
Oh my b I completely missed the part where she knew he didn't feel very comfortable around sex and then pestered him every single day to just put out because of how unfair it is otherwise. And then stormed off and ghosted him when he actually respected himself enough to stand by his boundaries.
OHHHHH wait! Maybe that's because HE did all of that to HER, and it's infinitely more disgusting and entitled than someone making their preferences known and expecting their fiancee who agreed with this going into the relationship to keep his word.
So she’s cheating or about to. Call her out on it, then say goodbye. It’s probably already too late and she’s already had some fun on the side. Sorry dude. Do yourself a favor and make it a clean break, cut all ties and never look back. Better luck in the future.
Let her cool down?! He accused her of cheating. He told her he doesn't trust her. Let her cool down. Wow. Tone-deaf.
If your loyalty is tied to opportunity to cheat then you're not a good person. Plenty, PLENTY, of happily long term married couples maintain friendships with others that aren't their spouse to include both hanging out with them with their spouse as well as individually with zero issue. None. Not everyone is a cheater jfc.
Also, when you start feeling upset about it, start planning your second smaller wedding in your head: will it be in a big backyard with fairy lights? What will you put in your vows now that you’ve been married 5 years? Put all the energy behind those bad emotions into planning something to look forward to.
Did we date the same guy?!
Go find a killer attorney.
Well, you could ask him if it's ok if you have a FWB type relationship with a substitute, but I don't think he has that good of a sense of humor.
As for the medications: take as few as you can, notwithstanding the psych meds. If you need to supplement, then try herbals. Example: nervous energy, take 3 capsules of valerian root. Before the 20th century, physicians used the pharmacopeia, which were plant based.
And if your bf has low libido, buy him a bottle of horny goat weed. It might put a bit of “starch” back in him.
Right now, you're at your sexual peak, and your bf needs to enjoy this phase of your life. As it is, I bet he sleeps well every night.
I wish you well.
Kinda ridiculous, isn’t it? I put up with this, back in my early 20s, for about ten months. Girl talked about marriage etc but refused to acknowledge that our sex life went from a few times a week to once a month – I finally gave up on that relationship. I can’t even comprehend over a decade of it. Our lives are so short as it is