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Date: October 6, 2022
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she got this violent with you just because you (reasonably) asked her to stop talking during a movie. she didn’t hesitate and doesn’t seem to regret it. how likely is it really that you’re the only person who has ever been a victim of her violence and lack of control? abusers like this very rarely stuck to one act of violence towards one person. there could easily be multiple other people in her life being abused by her. for the sake of you and everyone else around your sister, press charges.
make copies of the video to send to another device to make sure it’s safe, go to an urgent clinic to have someone check your bruises (even if you don’t think they’re that bad, it’s better to have a record of a professional checking you), also take pictures of your bruises now for further evidence. stop downplaying this. this is really serious. she could’ve killed you. hell, maybe she wanted to, idk. you screamed at her to stop and she didn’t. that says something. and the fact that all your parents tried to do was get your phone with the evidence of the event on it instead of helping you definitely says something too.
you didn’t deserve this. nothing you might’ve done as a kid or as an adult makes you deserving of this. there is absolutely no excuse for abuse.
You can invite her for a one-to-one chat, maybe over coffee, in connection with one of these meetings. You steer the conversation towards relationships to see what, if anything, she says about her status. You see how she responds to harmless compliments, to meaningful glances, and to opportunities to touch you. That sort of thing.
Cheaters gonna cheat and lie. I hope she's gone by the time you get back.
I just don’t know how to go about it now. I don’t want to wait and see if she sleeps with other dudes. I guess I jsut need to know if she would, so I can end it right now. Either we end it and you do what we want or we work on it together but I seems she doesn’t want to do that right now.
Ok I don’t think shaming abuse victims for their trauma bond is appropriate or helpful, speaking as a girl who grew up in a home with DV and an abusive/alcoholic father. It takes women YEARS and MULTIPLE TRIES sometimes to get out of these situations, and it isn’t because they’re weak, it’s because they’re brainwashed and trauma bonded.
Thanks for the tips.
Perhaps your dad wants you to follow the same path as he did so you can never blame him for anything.