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CandyLisa, 28 y.o.
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Date: October 10, 2022
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Will your fiancée leave you? Is grass green? Is the North Pole cold? Stop it lol. If you wouldn’t want it done to you then don’t do it to others
Okay I’m gonna be honest. Lying and hiding the truth is a BIG NO NO. That is not okay and do not convince yourself ever that he has the right to do that to you and that you have to endure it. List out the pros and cons of your relationship. Make sure you think only of yourself and not his feelings too. Is this relationship what you really want? Or is it something you hold onto because it’s been with you for so long and you’ve grown attached and a little dependent on it? Really dig deep into yourself and ask yourself if you are okay with what he did. What can he do to make it better for you? What will give you closure? Once you have these answers be as blunt and direct as possible with him. Do not be afraid of communicating bluntly. If he can’t handle it that’s his issue. And possibly a sign that getting out of the relationship for real despite the pain is the right thing to do. Also if you have tangible evidence that he did have that rebound make sure you have it with you so if he tries to lie, you can slap those facts out and face him with it. That’s very important. Although you guys were broken up him lying to you is not okay at all. Especially if you both agree that you want to try and continue the relationship. And definitely discuss boundaries with each other. Super important that even if you guys are a couple that you both have your own feelings protected. Respect yourself you deserve respect. Him lying is not giving you the respect you deserve in the relationship. If he tries to pull the “I knew you were gonna be hurt so I didn’t want to tell you”. You have to call bullshit because you’ve asked multiple times already and he still CHOSE to lie. (I have a huge issue with liars lol) From my perspective, the timeline is too suspicious. I don’t know his side completely and hearing that he is trying to cover up the rebound makes me not trust him at all. Girlie you have to stand your ground and don’t let your feelings be influenced by your concern for his reaction or feelings. I wish you all the luck in the world for this to come out the best for you and him.
What did you expect
His way sounds like ass and the highway can be a fun drive that takes you where you need to go a lot faster. All im saying is I know what I'd choose.
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I genuinely wanted to believe that there would be a change but I know now that I let him get too comfortable disrespecting me and it's not going to get better.
Wait, so you still want to build a house and have another baby with someone who lies, manipulates and has overall zero respect for you? Who doesn't even conceal anymore that she is lying and just changes her stories whenever she wants to because she cares so little?
Honestly, if that's what you want from life, then build that house, have that kid and why not finish everything off with a marriage while you're at it?
There are always two people involved in something like this scenario: One who does all the bullcrap and one who lets it happen. But your life, your choice.
I think your boundary is reasonable, even if her desire is logical (and i am not sure it is) she should give on something so important as her future husband asking not to have her ex partner(s) who is not like an old family friend not there.
Suck it up and let him come to the party, cut him off later