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Date: November 6, 2022
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It isnt just honesty, its anticipating what may make your partner upset and wanting to be empathetic and proactive.
I had an ex that sat back and let me interact numerous times with three! different women and didn’t tell me he slept or was in love with them. I kept finding out after the fact. The last one I was like OK (cant believe I have to say this) can you… tell me beforehand… when Im going to be sharing a meal or playing a game with someone you’ve been in love with or f*cked? okay thanks.
I don’t think its rocket science our partners want to know these things when time is being spent with a person that has potential to feel uncomfortable or threatening to the relationship. Seems pretty straightforward to me ??♀️
He's made it clear to you that he does not intend to work, ever again, if he can help it. He will live off of his family's money, and then yours, if he blows through what he has.
No matter what you say, you cannot MAKE him get a job/work.
Are you OK with this? if this is a deal breaker, then you need to end it with him and find your own place to live.
I was in a similar situation once upon a time. It was a deal breaker for him so I didn’t try it until we broke up. But it was among the first things I did years later when the differences in opinion had stacked up too high to ignore. That was year 7 fyi we started dating at 12 so it didn’t become an issue until it did (college)
Sorry OP, but you have to consider what do you have to offer to an older woman?
Unless you're just trying to hook up with an “older” woman because you have some kind of cougar thing (not even saying 30 is old, 30 is only old compared to a dude who's only 22.)
Look, older women don't want to date someone they still see as a child or potentially someone they'll need to mother or take care of. A 22 year old guy has nothing to offer a 30 year old woman besides maybe a quick fling or a one night stand. Beyond that, you're in completely different places in life and have nothing in common and no common ground to even relate to each other on.
Imagine yourself trying to talk to a girl who's still in middle school- that's what it's going to be like for her.
A woman who is 30 has already had a decade or more of dating experiences and is probably ready for something more serious now. She's already been 22 and knows what 22 year olds are like. Now consider she if she wants marriage and kids, she's definitely not wasting her time on someone so young she knows isn't compatible with her life goals.
She needs to stay with your dad. She is not in any danger. So no need to completely disrupt your life or marriage to have her move.
This is a 'him' problem and you have done nothing wrong.
Sit down with your wife and set some rules. Let her know what your boundaries are and ask her for hers. Very important.
When it all kicks off. Be the director. Imagine you’re a movie director. Give instructions and tell your partners want you want to see and do. Lead the interaction.
Massages are great. Lighting matters. Temperature matters. Condoms, lube and toys matter. Toys can be like fourth.
Focus on your wife. It will be exciting to have access to two lovers but don’t get to caught up in the other girl. Focus on your wife, her pleasure. Tell her you love her. Tell her how beautiful she looks. How good it feels to be with her.
When you’re with the other girl, ask your wife what she’s like you to do with her. Giver her some power over your interaction.
Don’t ignore your third but she should feel like she’s adding to something strong and loving as opposed to just being one of three people fucking.