Attraction (physical and otherwise) is a sliding scale.
We were attracted to each other, but from your other comments, I get the feeling that you are looking for the mythical “love at first sight” or looking for someone that looks like a model on party night.
My husband and I met at a bookstore. It was the middle of finals week and we were both sleep deprived, exhausted, no makeup, and my hair hadn't been brushed in a few days. He thought I seemed fun to talk to and “cute”. I thought he had a nice smile and I liked talking to him about Star Wars. So, we scheduled a date.
On our…I think seventh?…date, he asked to take me on a hike. I was a mess, and so was he.
He said that night I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And I returned the sentiment.
What I am trying to tell you is physical attraction grows when emotional attraction deepens. If you want a successful relationship, look at people as people first. With thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc.
Are you trying to sleep with people so soon that an emotional bond isn't developing?
If you learn about them and create that foundation, the rest usually follows.
You're not protecting your girlfriend, or using the tools available to you, and if she walks, I don't blame her. There are solutions to your problem, but you're just waving your hands and seemingly absolving yourself of all responsibility here. You and your ex are both the problem here.
Honestly it sounds to me like you have a decent plan. If you think taking some time off and doing a little traveling is what you need to do for you then do it. I would recommend telling him exactly what your plans are. Be open and honest with him. Let him know that you have been let go, let him know that you have a history of depression, tell him that you really like him but you are not quite ready to be “serious” yet. Tell him you plan to do a little traveling while you have the chance. If he likes you enough to get serious then he should be cool with it. It's not like you are going to ghost him for a while right. Just tell him you want to keep things like they are until you get this out of your system and get back on track with a new job. Good luck!
Naked pass. She was drunk and remorseful. She probably tried to carry on with relationships that weren't good and was reflecting on the ones that were, you included. It's pretty shitty that she was willing to have that conversation with herself years later.
I'd just give her the “cool” and thumbs up emoji and move on. She wants you to torture yourself for her, for her own selfish greed of self appreciation.
Find someone that doesn't need you to be at your worst to appreciate them.
Won't comment on what you should or shouldn't do but I will say I hope no one in this thread is ever in a place where they need to ask for forgiveness.
No one, including you it seems knows what was going on in his life at the time, what his mental health was like, or why this aberration occurred. Yet he's tared, feathered and condemned for life. As someone who made a lot of mistakes growing up I'm glad I was surrounded by people more tolerant and empathetic.
Here's hoping there are people more forgiving in this world than you guys ?
Phew i don’t understand how y’all be out here risking stds with raw sex
You sound fucking exhausting.
Attraction (physical and otherwise) is a sliding scale.
We were attracted to each other, but from your other comments, I get the feeling that you are looking for the mythical “love at first sight” or looking for someone that looks like a model on party night.
My husband and I met at a bookstore. It was the middle of finals week and we were both sleep deprived, exhausted, no makeup, and my hair hadn't been brushed in a few days. He thought I seemed fun to talk to and “cute”. I thought he had a nice smile and I liked talking to him about Star Wars. So, we scheduled a date.
On our…I think seventh?…date, he asked to take me on a hike. I was a mess, and so was he.
He said that night I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And I returned the sentiment.
What I am trying to tell you is physical attraction grows when emotional attraction deepens. If you want a successful relationship, look at people as people first. With thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc.
Are you trying to sleep with people so soon that an emotional bond isn't developing?
If you learn about them and create that foundation, the rest usually follows.
You're not protecting your girlfriend, or using the tools available to you, and if she walks, I don't blame her. There are solutions to your problem, but you're just waving your hands and seemingly absolving yourself of all responsibility here. You and your ex are both the problem here.
Honestly it sounds to me like you have a decent plan. If you think taking some time off and doing a little traveling is what you need to do for you then do it. I would recommend telling him exactly what your plans are. Be open and honest with him. Let him know that you have been let go, let him know that you have a history of depression, tell him that you really like him but you are not quite ready to be “serious” yet. Tell him you plan to do a little traveling while you have the chance. If he likes you enough to get serious then he should be cool with it. It's not like you are going to ghost him for a while right. Just tell him you want to keep things like they are until you get this out of your system and get back on track with a new job. Good luck!
Naked pass. She was drunk and remorseful. She probably tried to carry on with relationships that weren't good and was reflecting on the ones that were, you included. It's pretty shitty that she was willing to have that conversation with herself years later.
I'd just give her the “cool” and thumbs up emoji and move on. She wants you to torture yourself for her, for her own selfish greed of self appreciation.
Find someone that doesn't need you to be at your worst to appreciate them.
He is showing you who he is…decide if this is who you want for the rest of your life or start making an exit plan.
That's exactly what he's doing but she sounds as if she's not buying it.
I guess that’s where we’re at a standstill. It seems that doesn’t matter what he tells her, she does as she pleases regardless.
Won't comment on what you should or shouldn't do but I will say I hope no one in this thread is ever in a place where they need to ask for forgiveness.
No one, including you it seems knows what was going on in his life at the time, what his mental health was like, or why this aberration occurred. Yet he's tared, feathered and condemned for life. As someone who made a lot of mistakes growing up I'm glad I was surrounded by people more tolerant and empathetic.
Here's hoping there are people more forgiving in this world than you guys ?
Go to the gym, get shredded then dump her