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  1. This is absolutely a fireable offence he is committing, I know your GF is probably just kind of scared of retaliation (or has some internalised guilt that she’ll ruin his life if she makes a fuss) which is understandable.

    But you can’t let him get away with this, it will escalate at some point – be it with your girlfriend or some other poor soul he has decided to stalk. You’ll have screenshots/photos of evidence and dated the times that he has physically followed or appeared at her work place, send them to his managers.

  2. He’s clearly NOT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE if he can betray you like that!

    Be strong, take each day at a time, focus on keeping busy and doing things you love. Cut him out of your life. I promise things will get better!! And one day you will look back to realise this betrayal made you stronger, and good riddance to this trash taking himself out! Hang in there OP!!

  3. Theres also a lot of pressure in front of a crowd, even if it is family. Its a huge hit to the nervous system to be proposed to. Think how nervous most people are to ask, and they plan on doing it. Its even more so for the woman.

    Good luck!!

  4. I see what you’re trying to do. This is not a gender issue. I’m a woman and confidently say if you choose to go out and get black out drunk you can’t get mad at the consequences. No different then if you get black out drunk and get behind the wheel of a car and kill somebody you go to jail for vehicular fucking manslaughter nobody says well, she was black out drunk it’s not her fault.

  5. Sounds like its way too late for therapy, why not consider saving the time, money, and mental energy therapy will require and just break up now?

    I would recommend therapy for yourself though, after you break up, to work on healing and understanding the parts of you that thought it was ok to stay in a relationship where your needs were clearly not being met. Good luck.

  6. A psychologist would say that you've been seeking relationships that try to fill the gap of your lack of parents being around.

    Not only is it weird that he's 14 years older, but that you're also a fan. Being mature at such a young age doesn't equal = mature enough to date a 30 year old, it = trauma and that is it.

    The larger issue is why a 36 year old would want to be with a 22 year old. I'm sure you're great but you're not in the same stage of life. Any 30+ year old would be / should be hesitant to date anyone under ~25

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