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Date: November 4, 2022
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As someone comes from the same culture, you could talk to him about marriage. The problem here isn’t that it’s you, it’s that he’s 30. Talk to him abt it cuz I’m pretty sure he’ll end up living in Australia anyways so as long as you guys communicate what you want from it you good have a future
Honestly, there are a few perspectives you can take from this. Close true friends will be there, no matter what. However, temporary friends will not. I am not sure as to the extent of your friendships between those you have cut out on her account. But I do notice a pattern from your girlfriend. She seems threatened by female friends, that's as far as I can speculate, I am not sure why but it seems like she wants to establish and for you to know a girlfriend/fiance/wife takes precedence over anyone. I don't think you should favor your girlfriend over someone you perceive as a best friend, IMHO, as they will be there through the thick and thin should you even break up with your girlfriend you have clearly shown you care for.
I think this is an unfair position to put you in. If you have a best friend, then your girlfriend and your best friend have irrefutable places in your life that you don't have to defend or fight for. She needs to be reasonable about this, while some friends she can have a say over, but controlling who you are friends with is unfair and also unhealthy for you and your relationship with your girlfriend as well as anyone you befriend.
It is not a requirement for your partner and your best friend to by proxy by friends. The understanding that she doesn't have to be everyone's friend you are with but you can be cordial and polite and accept that they're your friend is where I feel she is not understanding or accepting. And an ultimatum is never a healthy way to handle this.
The next perspective is cultural, you have mentioned you are an atheist and she is Muslim. There are very definable difference between how you two view roles. One of my close friends is Muslim, and while we are very close friends, but she will ALWAYS put her husband/family first no matter what. I take no offense to that, and understand that is how she manages important people in her life and the extent to which she is willing to do for each. I am also an atheist too, so I did approach her about her abrupt mannerism when she did enact such boundaries. At this point she was only dating him, but the degree to which she clearly defines value of a boyfriend is very different than where I'm from (USA). What it really came down to was understanding the cultural differences that stem from our backgrounds and beliefs, and from there were still close to this day.
The last perspective is reciprocity, what if you were to not approve of one of her friends? Has this happened before? How did she react? Do you think she would give you the same courtesy she has asked of you several times already?
At the end, ask yourself, is this a pattern? Or is her behavior justified? Being your significant other is not a good enough excuse, prioritizing her over your friends is also not enough of an excuse if she expects it everytime no matter the situation.
I mean yeah but he can have alone time and also spend time with his wife. Maybe if she gets into games she’ll find some she likes to play on her own so she’s not just sitting around while he’s doing stuff
They don’t seem to be. But I am for sure behind her leaving her pos of a fiancé.
You deserve so SOOO much better.
I'm so proud and impressed that you left the way you did. Totally boss move.