If she’s offered you a free pass as some kind of way to make this even, this tells me all I’d want to know about how she views relationships. To me it sounds like she thinks nothing of making out with others which is why she’d be ok with you doing the same. Which suggests this is typical behaviour and she’s probably done this before, it’s just the first time she’s been revealed.
So, I think you’re doing the right thing. Right now, walk away and give yourself time to process. And you’re fully justified in walking away permanently. I would. But even if for some reason you decide to give her another chance, do not marry this girl. At least not for a very long, long time.
Do not hook up with her best friend. Or anyone else at the moment. The last thing you need is a rebound relationship. Work on healing and recovery. Then when you’re ready start dating again.
And it’s ok to wallow in self pity and drown your sorrows in alcohol for a little while. And by a little while I mean one night. Then put that shit away and don’t touch it again until you can enjoy drinking for the right reasons.
First, congratulations! Good job! It’s a very hot feat to push out a basketball from your crotch! Lol
Second, do you really need advice here? It sounds like you already know what to do. I don’t think it’s you “calming down” when you stop thinking about divorce. I think it’s just you thinking how “it’s supposed to go” and making decisions based on that and not reality here. If 500 people are telling you roughly the same thing (although all we have to go by is this post, but even then), something you’re already thinking, I think it’s very reasonable to “pull the trigger” on calling that divorce attorney. At least get options.
From your description, it sounds like he has unreasonable expectations when it comes to kids and doesn’t know what he actually needs to do or is prepared to do it. If I ever get a woman pregnant, I’m her slave for 9 months and then I’m the one that would take over changing the diaper and giving baths, every time. That’s like minimum of what the guy should do. It’s only a couple years…
All I read is your dude sucks. Get a divorce. If he can’t support you emotionally, make sure the courts make him help you financially.
No matter who the person is or how they’re related to any of us, your body belongs to you and no one else. He needs to understand this. He thinks he has an automatic right to your body simply because you married him. I learned this lesson, which I admit I should’ve learned long before, with my ex-wife and it’s stuck with me. She snapped at me one time and that was all it took for me to realize she was right. Do not let your husband say this is a you problem and then move on because then he thinks he’s right and will never change. When he says it’s a you problem in any way, tell him he is wrong and that he needs to change because it’s your body and nobody, himself included has a right to it. You give your body to your husband but he doesn’t have a right to it
He's just making OP feel bad about her body for no reason.
He should lie about how he feels if it makes her feel better? He should just leave and ghost her with no reason given? That doesn't sound very healthy. He should just own up to the fact that his love to OP doesn't seem to go past “skin deep”
I'm a guy, and I don't like fake tits (or fake nails, heavy make up, body mods etc for that matter). It's not really a big deal though. You might be initially attracted by the superficial, but you fall in love with the person, and by that point, if the fake tits made her feel better about herself, hell yea, I'm all in.
This is the Uk not US
If Op used the government CSA calculator and put things in properly, he is paying the rate the law says he has to
If that is to be changed via court, his ex needs to find the funds to see a solicitor to take that case forward to claim more.
Why on earth would he go to court to play roulette when he's paying what the law tells him he has to?
If you do stay with her, make sure that you remaining in the relationship is dependent on her staying in treatment.
It will be incredibly difficult to build a life with her if she doesn’t stay in treatment for life.
If she’s offered you a free pass as some kind of way to make this even, this tells me all I’d want to know about how she views relationships. To me it sounds like she thinks nothing of making out with others which is why she’d be ok with you doing the same. Which suggests this is typical behaviour and she’s probably done this before, it’s just the first time she’s been revealed.
So, I think you’re doing the right thing. Right now, walk away and give yourself time to process. And you’re fully justified in walking away permanently. I would. But even if for some reason you decide to give her another chance, do not marry this girl. At least not for a very long, long time.
Do not hook up with her best friend. Or anyone else at the moment. The last thing you need is a rebound relationship. Work on healing and recovery. Then when you’re ready start dating again.
And it’s ok to wallow in self pity and drown your sorrows in alcohol for a little while. And by a little while I mean one night. Then put that shit away and don’t touch it again until you can enjoy drinking for the right reasons.
All the best OP.
First, congratulations! Good job! It’s a very hot feat to push out a basketball from your crotch! Lol
Second, do you really need advice here? It sounds like you already know what to do. I don’t think it’s you “calming down” when you stop thinking about divorce. I think it’s just you thinking how “it’s supposed to go” and making decisions based on that and not reality here. If 500 people are telling you roughly the same thing (although all we have to go by is this post, but even then), something you’re already thinking, I think it’s very reasonable to “pull the trigger” on calling that divorce attorney. At least get options.
From your description, it sounds like he has unreasonable expectations when it comes to kids and doesn’t know what he actually needs to do or is prepared to do it. If I ever get a woman pregnant, I’m her slave for 9 months and then I’m the one that would take over changing the diaper and giving baths, every time. That’s like minimum of what the guy should do. It’s only a couple years…
All I read is your dude sucks. Get a divorce. If he can’t support you emotionally, make sure the courts make him help you financially.
No matter who the person is or how they’re related to any of us, your body belongs to you and no one else. He needs to understand this. He thinks he has an automatic right to your body simply because you married him. I learned this lesson, which I admit I should’ve learned long before, with my ex-wife and it’s stuck with me. She snapped at me one time and that was all it took for me to realize she was right. Do not let your husband say this is a you problem and then move on because then he thinks he’s right and will never change. When he says it’s a you problem in any way, tell him he is wrong and that he needs to change because it’s your body and nobody, himself included has a right to it. You give your body to your husband but he doesn’t have a right to it
He's just making OP feel bad about her body for no reason.
He should lie about how he feels if it makes her feel better? He should just leave and ghost her with no reason given? That doesn't sound very healthy. He should just own up to the fact that his love to OP doesn't seem to go past “skin deep”
I'm a guy, and I don't like fake tits (or fake nails, heavy make up, body mods etc for that matter). It's not really a big deal though. You might be initially attracted by the superficial, but you fall in love with the person, and by that point, if the fake tits made her feel better about herself, hell yea, I'm all in.
That's not good or “normal.” He's jealous and controlling. Once you move in, it will probably get worse.