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dana-haze chat
Date: October 30, 2022
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Agreed. The first time she gave pain as the reason I was like – Okay, we'll try more lube? More foreplay? Avoiding penetration? Everything I've read on the subject says it's either medical, lack of arousal or too much friction so it may just be a learning curve if it's not a medical issue.
thank you, and other comments. I've kinda known for a while i need to break it off
Do you think she actually has a choice???
I’m sorry but she is literally gaslighting you and ironically part of her gaslighting is accusing you of gaslighting. But it’s definitely her doing it
I'm glad you know you're a POS but honestly, keep it to yourself. She already said she doesn't care and doesn't want to know. You just want to tell her to make yourself feel better for doing something shitty, not because you feel bad about the actual action.
Bro, just online with the guilt. It's the least you can do for cheating on her with her sister.
just move on, he’s obviously a very toxic person. I would block him if I were you, stop trying to justify his actions!
Too young. Too immature. No real life. All virtual. Feelings for real relationship don't translate to live.
Get over it. Find real love.
I dont know if “responsible” is the right word. He threw condoms in the trash can multiple times, OP also said she gave him condoms (which she couldve easily tampered with) so he wasnt this “responsibile” before. And it seems a bit crazy if you take into consideration that he's known the girl for 8 years, shes not a random tinder hookup…. And honestly if you think a girl youve known for that long is this crazy (like she would use a condom to get pregnant) then maybe you're not that responsible, you shouldn't be hooking up with her in the first place. Sounds like he's an idiot to me and maybe got influenced by his idiot friends who told him every woman will baby trap him lol.
Sorry you're going through this. I would tell your dad about all the things you went through during this pregnancy and if he thinks being a stay at home mom isn't work then that might be more of a reflection on his parenting choices. I think you need to sit down with your husband and tell him that I am in order for this relationship to work you need more help around the house. If he refuses then tell him he will have to find a way to pay for a house cleaner. Your needs are valid don't waste your time on people who don't value your feelings.
I am so relieved you got out of there. Yes it was absolutely strangulation, and as they probably already told you on the DV hotline your chances of being killed by your partner go up about 700% once they've grabbed your throat.
Never, ever, ever stay with anyone who has grabbed you by the throat at any time for any reason. It's the single biggest red flag for domestic violence possible.
First, you two are way toooo young to get married, don’t rush this.
Second, I think sex that only concentrates on piv is just bad sex, no matter the penis. Women need clitoral stimulation and most of our clits just are built in a way that fingers and mouths can do better than a dick. So if you are hellbent on your penis being the main source of orgasms, I have bad news for you. No matter the woman.
Third, your fiancee sucks. Talking to her friends about this before even talking to you is just plain mean and not mature at all. Also, faking orgasms just doesn’t get you anywhere (although I know a lot of women do it, because a lot of men think their dicks are magic and can change female anatomy).
So my advice would be to either end this relationship or have a serious talk with her to see if she is willing to work on her communicating skills and also be a better person in general (as in not talking about such intimate things with her friends and ridiculing you). Also, you need to accept your dick. It’s not magic, it never would be. If you expect it to be the main character of sex, you will either get a lot of fake orgasms or no sex at all. No matter your size.
Here’s the thing, the issue isn’t that she’s done that, it’s that you’re inexperienced. Heres an analogy, let’s say you have a friend who is more experienced and more knowledgeable in the activity you’re both doing together. How do you react? Do you admit you’re not experienced and ask for advice, do you pretend you’re equal but feel awkward or jealous inside, do you avoid them for fear of embarrassment and don’t do the activity with them because you don’t want to look bad and feel insecure? How do you react in that situation? The less comfortable you feel in that situation the more likely your past gfs experiences will also make you uncomfortable. As both situations reflect an inability to be the one with less experience, a discomfort with being vulnerable, and a strong need to be in control.
And this situation with your gf makes that more pronounced as gender norms often make people think men should be more in control and women should be more vulnerable when it comes to sex. So the solution isnt to get wrapped up in your gfs past but to recognize your reaction is due to your discomfort with vulnerability and your need to feel in control. Then ask yourself, will your gf use your vulnerability against you, will she hurt you or help you if you’re vulnerable? If you believe she’ll hurt you, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with her to begin with. If you believe she’ll help you, then use that to calm your discomfort and over time the feeling will lessen and go away as you gain experience.
I’m constantly shocked at these behaviours (personally, I know others have differing opinions) and truly wish I could exist in the time before internet porn and social media. I’m tired of being told it’s natural behaviour when it’s just not.
I used to rank “eye color” high on the priority list of partners when I was 20. I’m only 28 now but I literally had to do a double take like wait, my boyfriend’s eyes are brown… right? It’s such an inconsequential thing to care about in a negative way. I think it’s his immaturity talking. But I would dump him if he says things to make you insecure.
First and foremost, the parents acted abominably. They couldn’t try to mask their shock? The homophobia was real and it would take some time to for SIL to ever feel safe around them.
Yes it may have turned out better if she’d prepared them beforehand (but I doubt it!) but she was probably afraid to face them alone with this news. That said, SIL was not in any way wrong here.
As for your husband, their homophobic rant was appropriate? Your gay brother is not “blood”? I guess they don’t care if he burns in hell.
That was a pretty ugly scene and I hope your children are too young to understand what was being said.
I’m very sorry for your SIL & her SO.
Anyone that doesn't support your decision is not your friend.
I hope the sex is good because you seem Dick-ma-tized.
Start saving your pennies and prepare for a surprise breakup/move out without telling him. It's for your own safety.