Actually it made me think of the types of guys who read into everything. Suzie might just be flirty, she might not be interested. u/ThrowRAmaybegaslit I'd ask him why he thinks these girls are into him at all, because they may not be and that might open up some other conversations you need to have and info you need to process.
Military men because people who have seen the tough side of life appreciate the real things in life a little better than most, and know that at times it just takes two things: a decent human being and a decent connection with that human.
Cops only see the negative side of life so they are in many ways worse off, statistically.
People will merge lives if that's what they want – to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Which is a positive reason to get together.
But if they want to be together to solve the bite of loneliness, in general it's a slow ride to separation. Because loneliness is a negative reason to merge.
The only other way I see is to say “fuck it – my happiness BEGINS when I have a partner. Sure I can live without one, but I'd much rather live WITH one”.
And then start discarding every expectation if it doesn't hurt you to discard it. Ex: Great romantic chemistry but bad housemates? Online next to each other instead of under ONE roof – IF that is fine with you.
Figure out the stuff you CANNOT compromise on; everything else is just noise.
You can take whatever route you want. Just ensure that if things go south, your finances are intact because then
I'm way too old for this feeling I have that is so high school
No, you're too old to be in a relationship where you're being disrespected and your boundaries are pushed. Wait and see how he responds, he may surprise you and tell her to go to hell (the only appropriate answer, imo). If not, tell him that continuing this “friendship” is accepting her disrespect towards you. Then you have to decide if that's something you want to online with.
Stop wasting your time trying to change a man who doesn’t want to be changed. You tell him “you have one month to figure out how to treat me as an equal partner and actually show up and be present in your own home. If I don’t get that, I will not spend the rest of my life being maid and mother to a grown man. I deserve much better than the effort you’re putting in now and this is your chance to show me you love and respect me enough to step up and take on your fair share of the responsibility. Where we go next is completely in your hands because I’m done tolerating this.”
Then wait that month and if nothing changes, find a divorce attorney. If your partner can’t step the fuck up and act like he also lives in this house and treat you as an equal partner, what’s the point of that relationship? Marriage is a two way street and his side has under construction for way too fuckin long
Ghost him- the relationship is ending and you owe him nothing
Actually it made me think of the types of guys who read into everything. Suzie might just be flirty, she might not be interested. u/ThrowRAmaybegaslit I'd ask him why he thinks these girls are into him at all, because they may not be and that might open up some other conversations you need to have and info you need to process.
Military men because people who have seen the tough side of life appreciate the real things in life a little better than most, and know that at times it just takes two things: a decent human being and a decent connection with that human.
Cops only see the negative side of life so they are in many ways worse off, statistically.
People will merge lives if that's what they want – to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Which is a positive reason to get together.
But if they want to be together to solve the bite of loneliness, in general it's a slow ride to separation. Because loneliness is a negative reason to merge.
The only other way I see is to say “fuck it – my happiness BEGINS when I have a partner. Sure I can live without one, but I'd much rather live WITH one”.
And then start discarding every expectation if it doesn't hurt you to discard it. Ex: Great romantic chemistry but bad housemates? Online next to each other instead of under ONE roof – IF that is fine with you.
Figure out the stuff you CANNOT compromise on; everything else is just noise.
You can take whatever route you want. Just ensure that if things go south, your finances are intact because then
I see two issues.
His life plans fell through and now he's experiencing depression.
Your fundamental incompatibility regarding children.
The first one can be worked through if you want to. The second one, not so much.
I'm way too old for this feeling I have that is so high school
No, you're too old to be in a relationship where you're being disrespected and your boundaries are pushed. Wait and see how he responds, he may surprise you and tell her to go to hell (the only appropriate answer, imo). If not, tell him that continuing this “friendship” is accepting her disrespect towards you. Then you have to decide if that's something you want to online with.
Stop wasting your time trying to change a man who doesn’t want to be changed. You tell him “you have one month to figure out how to treat me as an equal partner and actually show up and be present in your own home. If I don’t get that, I will not spend the rest of my life being maid and mother to a grown man. I deserve much better than the effort you’re putting in now and this is your chance to show me you love and respect me enough to step up and take on your fair share of the responsibility. Where we go next is completely in your hands because I’m done tolerating this.”
Then wait that month and if nothing changes, find a divorce attorney. If your partner can’t step the fuck up and act like he also lives in this house and treat you as an equal partner, what’s the point of that relationship? Marriage is a two way street and his side has under construction for way too fuckin long