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  1. He might have dopamine overstimulation it’s becoming pretty popular these days, is very common in men, and kills sex drives, it’s not that they don’t want sex but the high stimulation In Their brain floods chemicals which kinda wash out all the others, it really shouldn’t be your responsibility for this, but getting him outside and on adventures doing new things he hasn’t done is a great way to reignite the brain! It also might get him a little less grinchy!

  2. If you really like her and think it's going somewhere, go for something small but meaningful, like a book or some music that feels relevant. Otherwise perhaps something less personal, like dinner and flowers.

  3. I can’t see it either.

    The first step in reconciliation, forgiveness? Free admission of wrongdoing, a sincere apology, asking how they can start working towards a better relationship /trust again AND understanding it might not be possible based on their actions.

    I didn’t see in the OP that dad has apologized, has regrets, admitted he messed up, that he reached out.

    Parents mess up too, they can apologize. They are not owed blind love and forgiveness just for their title. In fact, their wrongdoings are the hardest for their children because of that title, they have so much love and trust that breaks when something like this happens. Your dad chose to cut her out, to shame her for life choices, her wedding went by fatherless, and now he wants back in?

  4. A hall pass means you get to sleep with someone else. It's not a threesome. A threesome means you're both present. Not you fuck some dude while at a conference. He left you because he knew you were going to cheat and he wasn't having it. Leave him alone. You're too old to act like you don't know the difference between cheating and a threesome.

  5. Move on. Past behavior is the best predictor of the future behavior. Your current emotions are a poor excuse for making bad choices.

  6. See, this is the kind of shit where you can say “closeted people are some of the most horrifically homophobic people out there.”

    But people push back as if you're putting the blame of homophobia onto gay people. That's not true, but repressing who you are in any way can eventually make people do some heinous shit.

    That's not putting the blame onto gay people, there are closeted gay people who are fine and not violent. But there are some people for whom this kind of repression brings violent projection. There are many examples of homophobic conservative pastors who are eventually revealed to be banging dudes in secret

  7. Hopefully. If you want to downvote me because I say committing a crime that could end up with serious legal consequences is stupid then that's a you problem, not a me problem.

  8. As a child one feels that it is ones duty to do more than one is physically and emotionally able to.

    With OP working two jobs and her own grief to deal with already now she is strongly overworking herself.

    But still may feel that she is not entiteled to give her mom into memory care/ will not be able to afford to do so.

    But I think there will be access for care through church related organisms as many old people in industrialized countries may suffer from old age poverty.

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