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  1. just realized they probably won’t help a 30 yo out unfortunately which is messed up since i’m a child in that i still live! at home and am my parents child, she shouldn’t be a factor for who they decide to help

  2. u/WildCat860, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

    The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.

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  3. For whatever reason reddit isn't showing me any comments aside from the one I replied to. I catch part of the comment in my notification, but disappears when I go to read the full comment 🙁

  4. It’s not the action, it’s the reaction. He didn’t want to have sex, so in response, she’s not talking to him and sleeping in another room. That part is the part that’s manipulative.

  5. Ok so don’t come to us when shit gets worse or the behavior persists. If you didn’t come here to take action then get off Reddit. I’m sick of this victimizing minset. You’re 35 years old and there’s no excuse for you to not have taken action to fix your issues by now. Go to therapy, workout, and eat healthy. Read your favorite books and go to your favorite cafe. Why can’t you enjoy being alone for a while? What is there to lose???? He knows you’re suffering and he doesn’t care…he does not care. I don’t care if you don’t think you deserve something good. We ALL deserve to be happy so stop discouraging yourself. If you have no kids with this man you can just walk away with no strings. Sure he’s never hit you but you don’t need to be in a relationship at all for the statement to be true for you. You also don’t get abused when you’re SINGLE because there’s no man involved. Find some women’s groups that meet up to have fun. Maybe women with the same history that can encourage you. There are too many resources and so much control that you have. It’s to the point where you have no excuses anymore and you can stop expecting sympathy. Do it for yourself because no one else will.

  6. And women all over the world applaud you for making what must have been an incredibly difficult decision ?? your kids are damn lucky and it sounds like they will be really decent humans

  7. So then become passive. I got the same thing from my ex husband. It got to the point where I had to choose work or stay at home because he was happy with neither and all my passive got me was more complaining. So when nothing was working I left. I had to. It became that I’m cheating now that I’m home or I run away to work so I don’t have to do my share of this 50/50. But my starting to come to the realization of needing to leave was when I did only my dishes only my and kid’s laundry. It took him 3 MONTHS to figure out that he had been grabbing clothes from the hamper and not the closet. He would complain about the dishes and I told him if he doesn’t do the dishes in the sink everyday I’m not cooking for him. So we did go 50/50 for 6 months, so when I decided to be a SAHM he complained that I cheated because the house was still messy, when the kids went to school I got my career going again and I was “too busy for my kids”. This was the straw that broke everything, he told the kids that I was too busy for them and then take them to do something fun without telling me so I could never take a day off to join!! So if your husband is a good guy he’ll see your protest as a wake up call to really talk and change (maybe/hopefully some therapy), but if not you have a huge problem and therapy is the only answer because shit is broken.

  8. I think some people are missing the point of the post.

    What do you want out of the meeting and what are you prepared to accept? Are you ready for the worst?

    I suppose the worst is for him to say that he never wants to see you again but then he wouldn't have to meet you, he could just write a letter.

    Next worst might be a therapy-inspired confrontation. Would you be prepared for him to sit and let a lot of anger tumble out of him?

    I think that you should prepare for a lot of difficult emotion and by prepare I mean that you should have an exit plan in place. Arrange for you to be able to go somewhere or to someone where you can decompress and think/talk/work through your conversation. Have tissues with you – plenty of them.

    Be ready to apologise for sneaking around behind his back, even if you have done so before. he may not have been ready for your apology and he might be ready now. After listening to him, focus on re-inhabiting the role of 'mother'. Ask him how he is, how he's doing, etc. Remind him that you love him. Don't raise him blocking you or his g-parents telling you to leave them alone unless it's in direct response to a comment about you never contacting him.

    If he wants to reestablish contact with you but never see or hear about Max again, can you do it?

    Best of luck, Throwramommah, I'd be keen to hear how it goes x

  9. You might get more responses if you edit and add paragraphs. It’s impossible to read as a big wall of text.

  10. The tattoo is the same though? You all agreed to get a matching tattoo and you did. I personally would use this as an opportunity for growth. I bet this is a beautiful tattoo and even if it was on your butt, wouldn’t it still have the same significance? My vote is to leave it and love it for what it was meant to be.

  11. Thank you for letting me know of your experience! As mentioned, I have been in therapy for years. Whatever decision I take, would be together with the support of my therapist and if is a yes, in years to come. Actually, one of the points we addressed if my fear of being a bad mother, and how that is very unlikely to be the case.

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