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Date: October 19, 2022
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My spouse was unable to work for some time from depression, and what I was earning was not enough for more than food and keeping us housed. That's it. No new clothes, no matter how ragged our current clothes would be, there was just no money for clothes. No going out except to the park or walking around, no buying a singular thing, we would take water from home in plastic bottles. No new games (we both are gamers and were able to buy our computers from before). Nothing, just food and paying the bills, not even inviting a person to eat with us because at the end of the month we would be scrapping coins to buy food.
But during this time, my spouse was in therapy and eventually was able to get better. Therapy here in Argentina is free like all health care. So I was patient because my spouse was trying. I really understand the depression your boyfriend is going through, but he needs to accept help. Tell him it's unsustainable that you support you both and he doesn't even try, that he needs to accept therapy because if you have to keep up like this, it will damage your mental health too.
This was NOT an accident. This IS abuse. Please make a plan to get out quickly and quietly
As a guy, it’s nude to accept help when you’ve been going at it alone for a long time, it can make you feel more powerless than the disease he has is currently making him feel. It most likely is really hurting him to feel like he’s putting you in a situation where you’re still young and needing the money you have to start your life while helping him cling onto his, as a dad you don’t wanna take from your kids but give as much as you can which is why he’s absolutely refusing. If you do anything, just remember it’s easier to apologize later for something he doesn’t want you to do out of kindness, which means you can pay some of his bills behind his back anonymously to keep him going and if he finds out don’t apologize but tell him you’re going to help him no matter what because he’s your dad. He might be stubborn about this but he will respect you so much more and your relationship with him will change dramatically because of it. Hope things work out and hope he gets better soon!