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Ride BBC like a cowgirl when u fill my tank, ♥/ [Multi Goal]
Date: September 30, 2022
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Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed and supportive reply. I think I am afraid of the conversation, but it needs to happen.
I think you might need to take a step back to look at the dynamic because it seems as though he is lacking the communication. You stated you had communicated these things with him just by simply what you put in your post. He sounds as if he is not only selfish, but somewhat childish. There is probably some sort of personal issue inside of him that needs to be resolved in order to figure out why he is this way about these things. He might already know what it is. Whether it’s a serious issue or not, it still gives no right to treat you with disrespect.
It was his meaning behind it…he wasn’t saying it positively so even if I take it that way, which I do, it still implies that he has an issue with me being confident enough to call him out and he is using my confidence against me to say he felt threatened…it’s major bullshit…
To me it sounds like she needs therapy before she is ready for a serious relationship. These are all signs of someone who has chronic mental illness stemming from trauma. For some people in these situations therapy can take years or longer. You love her, but for someone with unhealed issues like this, romantic relationships actually enable their mental illness.
I’m sorry because it’s a difficult position for you to be in. You aren’t responsible for her mental health, but you love her so of course you care. Ultimately it will take her finding a way to self reflect and admit the extent of her issues before she can get help and get better. It’s up to you whether you stay with her or let her go, but speaking from experience this kind of situation is detrimental to your long term mental health.
Yep. OP is keeping the blinders firmly in place it seems. Sad, really.
Have you considered professional help? I don't think there's anything random people on a social media site can do to help with this, but maybe a therapist would be able to assist?
Nope. Dude literally showed empathy for her. Man cries. Woman loses all respect for him. It’s a tale as old as time.
How does any of this fix the issue? Even if you came back into bed?
Age is in fact a number. You know what else it is? The literal amount of years old someone is.
There's no logical reason for a 26 year old to be with an 18 year old. You're in different life stages. It's been a few weeks. It's new and exciting. But like anything else, you've learned that you're incompatible. Hold firm.
I can see that. But. Hit me up if you are ever free doesn’t seem very interested. That’s my take.
“The thing that gets me the most is this guy had absolutely nothing going for him:
It sounds like “water seeking it's own level.”
She wants to have her own kids with OP and say fuck the extra one that isn't hers. This is a 8yo child. Everything OP described is Normal behavior for a CHILD!
The kids not disrespectful or throwing tantrums or being a menace.. she forgets to pick up a few barbies..
His wife is an AH! Dont marry people who have kids if you are gonna pretend they dont exist.
OP is trying to push bonding onto his wife who doesn't want to become SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE KID!
this poor child is going through so much and she needs her dad rn. Not his wife who treats her like shit.
Do you have a “real” job?
Sounds like not. And he wanted a bang maid not a wife.
No, we both talk to her. I say hi when I come home, I listen to her stories and have input. I’ve talked to her about my family or work. He’ll try to joke with her but she gets upset at that. He’ll also talk about work. There’s not really space though, his grandma uses the living room as her room and sleeps on the couch.
She has multiple children and a mortgage with him 🙁
I'd be incredibly worried about his refusal to compromise on this.
First, the prenuptial agreement protects you both. There's absolutely no logical reason to want to avoid one unless he has some sort of problem with you being protected.
Second, this is not the way a healthy marriage should work. When something comes up, the two parties should be able to talk about it in depth. To communicate and share their feelings, concerns, and opinions. And then to find a good compromise. But he isn't willing to even discuss this with you. Let alone consider a compromise. And saying that it is all or nothing is absolutely not a compromise. It's an ultimatum. Why can't you compromise through the terms of a prenup (Maybe after 25 years the allocation changes? Maybe a small amount goes to him if anything happens to you? There are options and terms that an attorney can guide you both in setting.)? And why can't you both discuss it more?
He's just shown you two huge, huge red flags.
Do you want to build a life with a man who doesn't prioritize your welfare, and who refuses to communicate with you, or meet you halfway?
This is a glimpse of your future and the exact reason you need a prenup. Otherwise, you'll very likely find yourself married to a guy who keeps trying to control important decisions and doesn't care about your feelings, wants, or needs when he makes demands about how something should be. And when you get fed up with that and want to leave, he'll be keeping half of your inheritance.
She sounds exhausting. She is only working 10 hour weeks? She should be responsible for the vast majority of the household chores.
Based on what you've presented about her, she sounds depressed and possibly PTSD. Constant exhaustion, incapable of accepting responsibility, unpredictable anger, randomly switching between love bombing you and degrading you…
She appears to have some real problems. I suspect that she needs some real therapy at a minimum and possibly medical attention. Whether you want to stick around while that process sorts itself out or not is really up to you.
I would suggest you make a decision sooner rather than later. If you're in the US, you are rapidly approaching the deadline for annulment depending on the State. Annulment would be significantly better for you than divorce. Annulment would not include alimony.