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Imma side with this one. I had to do a triple take on this post, just to make sure I read it right.
Like, what are you apologizing for OP? Loving your husband to the point of death? I do agree with the above as you may need to seek some therapy as that was your first means of coping with the situation. But above all, your sister can take a hike, not only for this so called “prank” which was really just a malicious attack on you but especially for saying “yes” to still having the gun.
This is only one side of the story.
See I (45m) can be painted in a similar way. I spend a lot of time on my hobbies, working on my hot rod, or building scale models. While my wife (46f) does her own thing.
She complains a lot. I load the dishwasher wrong. Or I don't fold the towels right. Complain, complain, complain. So the last thing I want to do is spend time with her.
Could you be doing this to him?
I'm not assuming you are doing this. Only asking.
Don't date teenagers as a grown ass woman
In your own story your anxiety & smothering is palpable. I understand the urge to minimize & tell yourself you hid it well. But you did not. It’s negatively affected her vacation. Own that if you want to make progress.
I never asked for a rating! And I don't expect the entire world to believe that I am a perfect goddess either. The context here matters. All I wanted was to be HIS 10/10 based on unconditional love. Not on the world's standards.
It’s definitely a step toward it, but it’s very circumscribed.
If you’re really working as a “household”, and thinking about the future, it (often) makes sense to consider the total financial outlays and incomes and build a budget based on that. It’s not about who pays what, it’s about making sure all obligations are met.
You don’t have to do this all at once. It’s not “combine finances” or “pay 50-50”. But if you guys are planning a future together, it is worth talking about how repaying your debt as an individual will affect your ability to contribute to household expenses (or, more accurately, your ability to contribute to “fun” activities together, save enough to contribute toward a home, children, etc). Are you both okay with these impacts? Or does it make sense to come together to pay your debt as a team to reach your other joint financial goals faster?