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Date: September 24, 2022

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  1. Avoid him entirely imo.

    Its not your fault and he's the screwed-up one here, but keeping quiet and telling half stories wasn't the right move. When you try and tell the whole truth now, he and his mom would make it a “your word vs his” kind of situation. I'd still suggest telling your friends, and letting the cards fall where they may. Hopefully, you've got good friends who will recognize that your story isn't changing, it's growing as you become less fearful.

    You shouldn't be made to keep his secrets.

  2. What a great update. Even though you both have work to do, it seems like you are both going in the right direction together.

    Interesting that there was no word from the parents; hopefully this no contact will wake them up to what matters in life.

    Enjoy your trip!

  3. I mean, she’s already told you that it’s cheating guilt free with her rule against you doing it. You know how she views her own request, as something she doesn’t want and is not open to that will make her uncomfortable. She is telling you this makes her jealous but asking you to allow her to do it without your jealousy coming to bite her.

  4. Me and my sister both said as fun and thank you? What do you say?

    This sort of thing happen a lot? Because I would start getting pretty pissed at you if I felt ganged up on often enough.

    It's one thing for my wife to criticize me, she does, and usually she's correct. But if her brother also chimed in? Well fuck that guy, who the hell does he think he is? I was unaware I married two wives.

    You see what I'm saying? There's one thing about joining in on your sisters family occasions. It's another thing to super impose yourself into their marriage and child rearing. If he hits or is abusive to your nephew? Say something. If he is abusive to your sister? Say something. Otherwise, it's 100% not your business and I would stay out of it.

    My advice? Apologize, say 'hey Bob, let me talk to you for a second. I know I really overstepped here, being my twin sometimes I feel closer in her life then I really should be. I'm embarrassed to say, I really need to keep my mouth shut in your family affairs”. That's a good start.

  5. What if the deletions turn out to be accidental; she just swiped the screen at the wrong time and didn’t notice? Are you so sure that it’s cheating that you are ready to end this relationship now and forever?

  6. I’m adding my perspective in here because I lived it. My husband is not a woman hater by any means nor does he have trust issues. We have a very open relationship with dialog, where we can approach each other with whatever musings we have for discussion. It’s how we function.

    Anyway, he said this when I was pregnant. “Would you be upset if wanted a paternity test?” It wasn’t him throwing an accusation at me, it was more for his peace of mind. He said something along the lines of a woman always knows the baby is theirs but men… it’s different. I understood where he was coming from so I agreed if it gave him peace of mind we would do that. Anyway, our daughter came out as his clone so he said “Never-mind”.

    That’s just my experience with it. And my view is, if they sleep better at night, it’s a simple test. Just do it. But obviously that’s just my opinion I’m sure many others feel different about it.

  7. Dude my dad's in the 6 figures! Don't even let him stress you about this.

    He doesn't get to just show up when it looks good for him. This is YOUR moment.

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