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Im new here <3, y.o.
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Date: November 1, 2022
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Anyone and everyone who has ever said your only choice is to leave someone in a situation with any resemblance to yours is more than likely not a good partner. My now fiancee and I used to have sex once or twice a month with me always being the one to initiate it. I would say I probably gave it an honest effort to try for sex 5 times a week. She had a sex drive that if she went 6 months without sex she would've been fine with it. Now we have sex around 3 times during the work week and about 3 times on the weekend. I initiate about 60% of the time she initiates the other 40%. One thing that could be negatively impacting the frequency of sex with your girlfriend is the extent of your horniness. Almost everyone wants to be desired by their partner, but at a certain point it can come across as the only thing someone thinks you're good for. You need to put emphasis on nonsexual acts. Massage every non erogenous zone on her. Learn about her body and where she carrys her stress. Treat her as if she is the love of your life, not the best sex of your life. Talk about sex as a joke at times. Treat it as a nonessential part of the relationship. My fiancee jokingly tells me shut up anytime I'm being purposely teasing. I started using shut up as code for oral so anytime she tells me to shut up I would respond with things like “Oh you just need it huh” or “wow being a little demanding today don't ya think” If my fiancee bends down to pick something up, instead of looking at my favorite butt in the universe I go up to her, lift her shirt and lightly kiss her back. She will typically stand up straight after that and I will hug her from behind and kiss the back of her head, the back of her neck lightly, then her shoulders and then instead of offering a massage I just start giving one. I tell her I love her, i ask about her day all while massaging her. I ask her if she needs me to do anything and when she says no i just do things anyways. There are millions of ways to build attachment to someone. At the very least in my fiancee's case she desires sex far more when I'm being sweet and caring versus when I'm letting her know just how out of my league I think she is. My fiancee has always showered with the door open and back when I'd comment how good she looked my pp was lonely as can be, now I go in and pester her for a kiss because I say it is routine to kiss her in every room of the house everyday. The latter is sweeter and my fiancee finds it far more desirable when I treat her like a queen, not a fleshlight. As far as the frequency of your masturbation… please don't believe people who say that's normal. That is an addiction and with self control you will be able to find even more fulfillment in all aspects of life, not just sex with your girlfriend.
And fake
You're old enough to be outside of the “groomer” window. But there's just an obvious power dynamic in a relationship when someone under about 25 dates someone more than a few years older. This is a brain development issue, but it doesn't mean that every older guy is just looking to predate on younger women. As long as things are equatable, he listens to you and doesn't try to mold or change you and you can afford to pay half for all your dates then this likely won't turn out like the classic older guy chasing a younger woman scenario. Just stand up for yourself when you need to and be smart enough to know if he's trying to inflict his preferences onto you. Also obviously never ever let yourself get into financial debt with him. It's really important that you're able to fund your half of everything you do together so that can never be held against you. Good luck
Right, if they've been together pretty much constantly for 2 whole months you'd think he'd have his mind made up at this point. And if he doesn't yet then imo that's a warning sign. She deserves someone who's crazy about her. My bf and I similarly hit it off and were together constantly after our first date. Took him less than a week to tell me he didn't want to date anyone else but me, and 20 days to tell me he loved me. When you feel strongly enough about someone, you just know. Especially when you're together constantly.
If his emotional unavailability is due to grief or trauma, then that's his responsibility to address by himself, without dragging someone else through the mess. He's 29!! Way too old to be making excuses. Personally, I'd be running.
Lol get a grip.
OP is 23, so he’s hardly fetishizing underage girls. You just throw that in there for shock value.
The bottom line is he made his position clear. He made his values clear. He hasn’t lied about anything.
OP, on the other hand, has completely misrepresented herself. She has lead him to believe she is someone she’s not. That’s the issue.
You may hate Christianity or all religion, but that’s not relevant here. What is relevant is this guy has made his values clear and told OP he wants to be with someone who shares his values. Instead of telling him the truth, OP lied in order to stay in the relationship with him. That’s wrong.
that’s kind of what i’m thinking. im aware that i’m in the wrong for looking through his phone. it’s a massive invasion of privacy and tbh idk what i was thinking
Ty appreciate the advice:) I think my main issue now is that is that he continues to do it despite me expressing how I feel about it and idk if it’s justified or unfair of me to expect him to stop? I understand porn id a pretty normal thing for the majority of men- just OF feels a step too far for me://