Likely your family has also noticed the smell and will completely understand. Just tell everyone the truth. He’s made it crystal clear he does not care and will never change.
If you stay with her out of bad intentions it'll just turn into a toxic relationship. Better settle it now while you're both in your early twenties and have lots of room to mature.
Thank you for the insights, regarding number 4: I believe it could be something to do with my past 6 year relationship (ended 4 years ago) where I was cheated on right under my nose with someone my ex said was only a friend. Before that I trusted blindly and I feel after that I have my guard up in those situations so trying to keep myself reasonable not to be unfair to my new partner.
Stop trying to change her mind. You’ve said you have had a couple of conversations. It’s done. That is her boundary. Move accordingly. You have no right to expect her to change her mind or compromise on this
This isn’t ethical non monogamy, so if you really want a crowd of people to tell you it’s okay to leave him, go to r/polyamory with it. No one hates one penis policies (what this type of thing is called) more than actually ethically non monogamous folks
Even if you don’t break up from this, do not marry her until that debt is paid down enough to a manageable level. Once you’re hitched, her debt is your debt. Question: not that you’re obligated to in any way but are you paying anything toward her debt?
FFS stop taking orders from this entitled bitch! The anesthesia has worn off, she should have been given a prescription for pain meds and other than watching for bleeding she should be fine to take care of herself! Have your boyfriend over! Stop enabling her entitlement!
I'd like to piggyback on this comment to add that it could also be a hormone imbalance or circulation problem, he should get checked to make sure that there is no medical reason for this.
That's fair, I'm all for open conversation in relationships, and OP might find she's willing to compromise on it for sure! I just don't want him to fall into the trap of expecting it even if she's a very hot no.
He might find himself in the position where he has to decide between the relationship or getting head and that's definitely a tough place to be in but no one would be wring for the choices they make.
At a certain point you have to realize that the best teacher is life is…life. No amount of talking her out of it is going to make her stop and sadly at her age she is still behaving like a rebellious teenager, because she is. You'll get advice here saying you should tattle, run to his current wife and tell, blow the whole situation up because Reddit is huge on drama. And maybe that will work in getting them to stop seeing each other, but in daging that relationship you're also going to damage your relationship with your sibling.
Ultimately she's going to do what she's going to do, as two consenting adults if they want to fool around they're going to do it. Hell, the fact they are both religious actually makes it more forbidden and as repressed as most religious people are they're still human and the thrill of such things makes them even more appealing.
I can't tell you what to do, she's asking for advice, you've given it. At some point you have to take the training wheels off and let her make her own mistakes and live! with the consequences of them.
Likely your family has also noticed the smell and will completely understand. Just tell everyone the truth. He’s made it crystal clear he does not care and will never change.
She's too good for you, clearly.
If you stay with her out of bad intentions it'll just turn into a toxic relationship. Better settle it now while you're both in your early twenties and have lots of room to mature.
Thank you for the insights, regarding number 4: I believe it could be something to do with my past 6 year relationship (ended 4 years ago) where I was cheated on right under my nose with someone my ex said was only a friend. Before that I trusted blindly and I feel after that I have my guard up in those situations so trying to keep myself reasonable not to be unfair to my new partner.
Stop trying to change her mind. You’ve said you have had a couple of conversations. It’s done. That is her boundary. Move accordingly. You have no right to expect her to change her mind or compromise on this
Hey, poly person here.
This isn’t ethical non monogamy, so if you really want a crowd of people to tell you it’s okay to leave him, go to r/polyamory with it. No one hates one penis policies (what this type of thing is called) more than actually ethically non monogamous folks
And get a separate duvet!
Even if you don’t break up from this, do not marry her until that debt is paid down enough to a manageable level. Once you’re hitched, her debt is your debt. Question: not that you’re obligated to in any way but are you paying anything toward her debt?
FFS stop taking orders from this entitled bitch! The anesthesia has worn off, she should have been given a prescription for pain meds and other than watching for bleeding she should be fine to take care of herself! Have your boyfriend over! Stop enabling her entitlement!
Same.
I'd like to piggyback on this comment to add that it could also be a hormone imbalance or circulation problem, he should get checked to make sure that there is no medical reason for this.
tell me more about these boundaries, I don't have enough information here
Him having eating disorders is why it's naked for him to eat things, not because he chooses to eat like that
That's fair, I'm all for open conversation in relationships, and OP might find she's willing to compromise on it for sure! I just don't want him to fall into the trap of expecting it even if she's a very hot no.
He might find himself in the position where he has to decide between the relationship or getting head and that's definitely a tough place to be in but no one would be wring for the choices they make.
Best of luck to OP
At a certain point you have to realize that the best teacher is life is…life. No amount of talking her out of it is going to make her stop and sadly at her age she is still behaving like a rebellious teenager, because she is. You'll get advice here saying you should tattle, run to his current wife and tell, blow the whole situation up because Reddit is huge on drama. And maybe that will work in getting them to stop seeing each other, but in daging that relationship you're also going to damage your relationship with your sibling.
Ultimately she's going to do what she's going to do, as two consenting adults if they want to fool around they're going to do it. Hell, the fact they are both religious actually makes it more forbidden and as repressed as most religious people are they're still human and the thrill of such things makes them even more appealing.
I can't tell you what to do, she's asking for advice, you've given it. At some point you have to take the training wheels off and let her make her own mistakes and live! with the consequences of them.
She's got some shit to prove hasn't she?