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pussy [Multi Goal]
Date: October 26, 2022
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You don’t have to be an asshole. I can empathize with her position and I don’t trust people on Reddit to effectively psychoanalyze two strangers with limited information.
So you're teaching your daughter that it's OK to cheat/be cheated on??
No, it isn't ok. Get a divorce. Don't cheat, especially not with some barely legal.
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Yeah when she wouldn’t tell me the truth I knew it had to be worse than a mistake like she got a little drunk and had sex. That might be forgivable.
I fear it’s worse than that.
If you don't tell her and she finds out it is going to look like you knew and were cheating.
This isn't usually the case but in this circumstance you know her. When she finds out he can spin the narrative however he wants and will probably try to find a way to blame you and make himself look like a victim.
You also work at the same place. He could try to spin this as you are some kind of homewrecker. Tell her so you control the narrative.
It will probably only end up hurting you so I wouldn't..
I don't. It's funny.
I’m glad you feel safe. So why are you acting like you are still together? What is it that is making you want to do that?
Get a better GF. She has made it clear she expects you to support her family. Unless you want to do that for the rest of your life, escape now. And if you marry her, your money will be going to them one way or another. Why should you work so her family can skate by?
You should cut ties I think. Tough since the relationship has been good but.. he literally said he stalked you and was going to rape you but then since he got to be your boyfriend he’s good to go? You really want to be with that guy forever and build a life? If that’s not a dealbreaker what is? The fact he even admits and says that to you is also fucking weird.
Emily’s character must not be so great if she’s willing to go along with this knowing you’re in a relationship and there are children involved. I hope she finally leaves you, and you figure out what sort of void you’re trying to fill.
Report her immediately.
This is tough but ok, here goes.
If she has a mental health problem, staying with you doesn't seem to be making ot better, right? You're not actually helping her by staying. You are not obligated to stay in a rship for the sake of someone else's mental health. You need to make her accountable for this if it's an act, but safely. You need to plan to break up with her in such a way that when she treatens it again, she is cared for. If this means calling the police or relevant crisis mental health responders near you, please do it. I even suggest talking to the police first to say how you're intending to end it but are worried about her safety. It's kinda their job to help get her the crisis support she may need. You are not being respected here. If she cared for you she wouldn't be putting you in this situation.
Good luck. Get out, but get her help.
This has been a very steady decline from when I was around 4 months pregnant, at that point, I’m already in the situation. For months I’ve tried so hard to be supportive, put him in contact with the right people, have conversations with him, there wasn’t a day that went by that i wasn’t there to support him. It took a lot for me to have to cut contact, I’m a very caring person. I’ve known him for 4 years and he has never behaved this way, he did say that he wanted the baby and would support me, maybe this isn’t the case but I only know what he tells me.
I wouldn't know, from your deep experience why don't you tell us?
I would divorce him. That is the most unacceptable thing I’ve seen lately. The lack of respect! The NERVE! THE BETRAYAL!!! I am absolutely, viscerally livid and it’s not even my cat!
If she was ever even depressed! Exactly
Fucking hell been suffering with depression since i was a teen.. who the fuck has the energy to cheat when you barely have the energy to on-line?
No. Absolutely not. That's such a pain in so many ways. I actually have two last names. One is my son's (and my previously married name), the other is my husband's. I didn't want my son to feel like the odd one out, and I also still wanted it to be obvious I was his mom when I take him to the doctor or school. My husband has absolutely zero problem with it aside from the occasional joking whine about paperwork.
You have stuck by your job this entire time he’s changed his multiple times! I would hire you 10x faster than I would hire him! So, go get your job with your awesome résumé! He won’t go far with his. Managers look for people who stay. We put big X’s on applications that have job after job listed, with no length of time with company. They are most likely unreliable! I get he was fired for something he didn’t do, but did he fight back at all, or kinda say oh well? He’s been way too willing to move on, over and over. You’ve worked very hot and this is something you’ve EARNED! That is the difference!!!
This guy isn’t for you. The only two things you know for sure is that (1) What he’s told you is the truth, and (2) He wants you to know. Use that as your foundation and work up from there. You should find what you already know relatively easy. Never compromise what you are for anyone, ever.
“Tomorrow you will wake up, ask me to forgive you, I will. BUT I won’t forget this. You have lost all my trust.”
My advice is overall a couple of things. I'm married 12 years.
a) listen to your partner. there is a difference between hearing and listening. the difference is that during listening your partner feels your vested interest in them.
b) avoid the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse: non-constructive criticism, stonewalling, contempt, and defensiveness.
c) be honest with yourself and the other person. that doesn't mean “tell it all on day one”. be reliable, be straightforward, don't play games.
d) enjoy yourself and enjoy the good times. when bad times come (and they will) you will need to mine from the lodestone you've accumulated of the good times.
e) don't make decisions or argue when you are HALT – hungry/angry/lonely/tired. fix the HALT then talk. on that note, don't raise your voice or swear at your partner.
Good luck to you
Is it enough of a reason to break up? I just feel so inadequate lately and I’m not sure how to deal with myself and my insecurities with his behavior.