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january-rose chat
Date: October 2, 2022
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PussyCharms
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You sound like a shit lawyer Lmao
I dont see a particular question. Maybe you are worried about things before they even happen?
Relationships change all of the time.
That is normal.
I suggest you stop trying to analyze everything and let things happen naturally.
modern psychology follows this logic and yes while 4 out of 5 doctors agree disciplining a child is better long term, that actions come with consequences, there are groups, vocal minority if you will, that still hold the belief that the best way is not to discipline. Heck there are people that believe Freud was right. And yes Dr. Spock recanted on a redbook article entitled “how not to raise a bratty child” spanking a child lightly telling them no firmly is akin to letting them touch something electrified by a 9v battery, they wont want to do it again. basic reasoning that yes even a child understands, especially when done consistently. Are there those who spank to hard yes, and there are those who will speed no matter the speed limit.
You're stacking a lot of expectations on a 1 year relationship when you're both 21. So much so it sounds like you would be ready to put the success of the relationship above your own well-being. It looks like you're losing your own identity into this relationship, that “being with him” has become your main trait. This is not healthy nor love, it's codependency and obsession.
I'll say this with no sarcasm: go see a therapist like you considered, because your view on love and relationships is vastly different than what reality is and I don't think it can end well.
Truth, if it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. If it wasn't him, it would have been someone else. This is vital to realize this, because if the relationship ever gets rocky, you need to remember that there are other options out there, that you can exist beyond being his girlfriend. If you're in the mindset that it's either him or the void, you'll find yourself doing -or accept- unbelievably toxic and destructive because the relationship is all you have, and you can't afford to lose it.
I don't think you should focus on being the most amazing partner for him, but on being an amazing version of yourself, which would incidentally be an amazing partner for him.
“Married 4 years and have known each other for about 10 years”
Honeymoon phase huh?
Dont contact ex.
Your friend on the other hand does not respect your privacy. Find better friends to confide in
Him having them moved to that drive is what really bothers because he would have had to move them to it a year into our relationship based on the dates, I just don't understand how he could be stupid enough to not know it should have been deleted. I don't think any of it was illegal though, he has a professional camera and the girls seemed to know they were being filmed from what I looked at
1) You dont trust him 2) You feel the need to play detective to “prove” he is cheating
If you find proof that he is cheating, you will most likely want to split up.
If you can't prove he is cheating, you still distrust him, so you should split up
Why work so nude to stay with someone who you don't trust?
Oh dear
You're obviously not that great with math, or you're pretending not to be.
Forget the savings, that's not an essential monthly expense. What you choose to save or spend on yourself is not part of the equation. Neither are your debt payments, for that matter, but for the sake of $100 we'll count it. (Oh, and spare me the BS about “I'm saving money for US” – joint savings accounts are a thing, if you split up you know damn well you will not be going halfsies with her on the money you've been squirreling away in your bank account). So the math is:
Total household income: $4150/mo, of which you bring home $1950/$4150 = 46.9%
Total expenses (assuming medical average is $450/mo): $3350
46.9% of $3350 is $1570. You are currently paying $1300. You're seriously underpaying your PROPORTION of the essential household expenses based on income.
Let's look at it another way: only joint expenses should be dealt with jointly. That means that rent, utilities and groceries are split proportionally, your respective cars, her medical expenses and your loan are yours and yours alone.
Total expenses (you): Joint is 47% of $1900 = $890 + $550 = $1440, which is – YEP, still way less than the $1300 you're paying.
In short: you suck at math and at being a partner. Step up and stop treating your partner, who's ill and MORE THAN pulling her weight financially, like your damn maid.
He promised he wouldn’t.. but once a cheater, always a cheater. Right?
He responded which is better than completely ghosting me out.