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Januaryjade Public Chat Channel
Date: February 5, 2023
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Cause having a child always fixes problems.
It took weeks before you were even able to sit down and talk to him. This man isn't going to be present enough for his own siblings that he loves more than you, let alone a baby.
Divorce is a perfectly reasonable avenue to take when your partner is no longer living a life you can participate in. You can either be single now or you can be a single mother later when you have this conversation again.
You know what, if my dad does that to me or my siblings, he'll be reported to the police for sexual assault, because what he just did to you is that, SEXUAL ASSAULT. Doesn't matter if he intended it as a 'joke'. I've received lots of ass-groping in my 35 years of life and most perpetrators would say 'it's just a joke' when I got angry. Same principle.
Being “best friends” with your boyfriend is what naive 20 year olds desire. It's as cliche as “soul mates” or “the one”. It's cutesy and immature terminology. That's what he means about the age gap affecting his perception of the relationship. With more life experience, he has adult friendships probably going back a decade now. People who have been there for him and know him and his family, people he trusts like no other. And then here comes a 20 yr old he met 2 months ago trying to measure herself against all that… You just aren't there yet in the relationship. And the fact that you don't realize that and are pushing this persona onto him is why he thinks the age gap makes a difference. It's the maturity levels.
The terminology comes off as a bit controlling, like you are trying to forcefully insert yourself into this guy's top position, rather than just letting the relationship progress naturally and earning the title of “best friend”. You need to just relax and enjoy what you have together. Stop obsessing over cliched labels. Some couples choose to define themselves as best friends. Some people acknowledge that friendship and a romantic partnership serve two very different functions in a person's life and that the two should not be blended. Not thinking of your serious partner as your BFF is not a sign of a horrible relationship!