Im a 35 yo man and i can tell you at 21 i had no idea what the fuck i wanted other than vaguely knowing i wanted to eventually get married and possibly have kids. I'm now married with 3 children. He's basically telling you he wants to enjoy his younger years and to stop talking about it so much.
If you know overall you both want the same this EVENTUALLY (marriage or not, kids or not, etc ) then just be happy you found someone who's future aligns with yours. Serious talks aren't fun when they are constant.
He never really cheated on one girl alone, he cheated on multiple girls using reddit (r4r) so i never personally knew them although i did see their pictures.
Oh wow, I think we have the same family, obsessed with weight & dieting. I was 10 the first time I went on a “diet” & I was just a little chunky, nothing unhealthy. Not surprisingly, I also developed an eating disorder, and while it's under control now, I still struggle with my relationship to food/eating.
Therapy would not be a bad idea, especially if you've never gotten help with your ED before. I'm not sure whether your current bf is being supportive or being an ass or both. If you hadn't expressed to him that you wanted to lose a little more, and he was making those comments, I'd definitely say that he's the weight you need to lose. Comparing you to your sister is a dick move regardless.
A more supportive reaction from him would be to assure you that he thinks you're beautiful and attractive how you are. If he's aware of your struggles, his comments are insensitive and way out of line, and undermine all the work you've done to get to a level you're happy with. Something to consider…
No. Simple reason. She has never lived alone. Therefore, she sees no problem in moving from her parents caretaking her to having you caretaking her.
Over the time of the Master's degree you will grow to resent her more and more.
At the end of a typical Masters (when you have never paid for your own shit) she will want to do some intern work or other low or no paying stuff for “experience in her field”.
At the end of all this she will be frustrated at YOU for pushing her to 'finally get a fucking job' and she will leave you because you don't “support her” despite paying all her bills.
In 10 years she will look back and realize that you really were a good guy.
You aren't the first person to experience this!!! You aren't even in the first 1000 people.
No. Tell her that you can both move in together when she is done her Masters and has a job. Tell her “you should focus on school right now”.
Of course she wants you to foot the bill!!!
I want you to pay for my education too. If I ask nice and say PLEASE can I go back to school fulltime too?
Tell her this plan doesn't work for you.
And just let her feel upset. You cannot change her feelings.
If this is a mature relationship then she will figure out a new plan that is harder for HER rather than harder for YOU.
LET HER BE UPSET. SHE IS ALLOWED TO BE UPSET. BUT THAT DOESN'T ALLOW HER TO MAKE YOU DO THIS.
“Stop guilt tripping me.”
Or redirect: “So have you figured out where you'll stay during uni?”
“Will your parents still be giving you money for incidentals?'
Time to be direct. After you give a solid No… it gets easier to hold your position.
As long as you waffle she will push because it will be a cushy setup for her.
I'm no psychiatrist or anything, so I don't know exactly what you are suffering from, but I'll just say that you should not let your thoughts go on the negatives like that. It's difficult, I'd assume, much more than anything I've been through, but I have suffered from loss and the more I thought negatively, the worse it got. Start by thinking about the ways you survived THAT hell. Think about how you didn't go insane in there, I'm confident you can do well back in society, just have to give yourself some time and space.
It sounds like your boyfriend is a user who uses his anger to scare you into not noticing that he brings nothing to the table. You can do much better than this manipulative, lazy mooch.
Yeah it is not unordinary. Fuck societal norms.
No she doesn’t have to support it but she doesn’t need to make me feel like trash about it.
The prenup only ensure the assets that he currently have right now, but anything he earns after you guys married will be 50% yours.
I don't think you need to worry about it too much since he's doing pretty well.
Im a 35 yo man and i can tell you at 21 i had no idea what the fuck i wanted other than vaguely knowing i wanted to eventually get married and possibly have kids. I'm now married with 3 children. He's basically telling you he wants to enjoy his younger years and to stop talking about it so much.
If you know overall you both want the same this EVENTUALLY (marriage or not, kids or not, etc ) then just be happy you found someone who's future aligns with yours. Serious talks aren't fun when they are constant.
You can try some soothing teas. Also kick your BF into gear to pull his weight.
Growing up in a household with 2 people who pretend to love each other while they don't IS toxic. God people are so selfish, grow up.
He never really cheated on one girl alone, he cheated on multiple girls using reddit (r4r) so i never personally knew them although i did see their pictures.
Just tell her and get away from your ex, the situation is already fucked up enough, she deserves to know
Oh wow, I think we have the same family, obsessed with weight & dieting. I was 10 the first time I went on a “diet” & I was just a little chunky, nothing unhealthy. Not surprisingly, I also developed an eating disorder, and while it's under control now, I still struggle with my relationship to food/eating.
Therapy would not be a bad idea, especially if you've never gotten help with your ED before. I'm not sure whether your current bf is being supportive or being an ass or both. If you hadn't expressed to him that you wanted to lose a little more, and he was making those comments, I'd definitely say that he's the weight you need to lose. Comparing you to your sister is a dick move regardless.
A more supportive reaction from him would be to assure you that he thinks you're beautiful and attractive how you are. If he's aware of your struggles, his comments are insensitive and way out of line, and undermine all the work you've done to get to a level you're happy with. Something to consider…
No. Simple reason. She has never lived alone. Therefore, she sees no problem in moving from her parents caretaking her to having you caretaking her.
Over the time of the Master's degree you will grow to resent her more and more.
At the end of a typical Masters (when you have never paid for your own shit) she will want to do some intern work or other low or no paying stuff for “experience in her field”.
At the end of all this she will be frustrated at YOU for pushing her to 'finally get a fucking job' and she will leave you because you don't “support her” despite paying all her bills.
In 10 years she will look back and realize that you really were a good guy.
You aren't the first person to experience this!!! You aren't even in the first 1000 people.
No. Tell her that you can both move in together when she is done her Masters and has a job. Tell her “you should focus on school right now”.
Of course she wants you to foot the bill!!!
I want you to pay for my education too. If I ask nice and say PLEASE can I go back to school fulltime too?
Tell her this plan doesn't work for you.
And just let her feel upset. You cannot change her feelings.
If this is a mature relationship then she will figure out a new plan that is harder for HER rather than harder for YOU.
LET HER BE UPSET. SHE IS ALLOWED TO BE UPSET. BUT THAT DOESN'T ALLOW HER TO MAKE YOU DO THIS.
“Stop guilt tripping me.”
Or redirect: “So have you figured out where you'll stay during uni?”
“Will your parents still be giving you money for incidentals?'
Time to be direct. After you give a solid No… it gets easier to hold your position.
As long as you waffle she will push because it will be a cushy setup for her.
I agree! I often do that. wow. exactly him. he would get mad and tell me im overreacting.
i just wanted the relationship to work. i hope i find someone healthy to be honest.
Can someone know who is healthy vs who is not within the first month of dating?
Also thanks again youre an amazing help ?
I'm no psychiatrist or anything, so I don't know exactly what you are suffering from, but I'll just say that you should not let your thoughts go on the negatives like that. It's difficult, I'd assume, much more than anything I've been through, but I have suffered from loss and the more I thought negatively, the worse it got. Start by thinking about the ways you survived THAT hell. Think about how you didn't go insane in there, I'm confident you can do well back in society, just have to give yourself some time and space.
She replied to me but deleted it, she quoted where I said she will end up alone and said “no, I wont”. Definitely some narcissism peaking through
This is what you found. Scary is what you don’t know about.
Get over yourself. You're being ridiculously jealous and hypocritical.
He was assaulting you. You don’t want to have a way back!!
It sounds like your boyfriend is a user who uses his anger to scare you into not noticing that he brings nothing to the table. You can do much better than this manipulative, lazy mooch.