He blames me for a lot of it. Sometimes it makes sense because he is literally pretty much perfect and everyone loves him. If I’m the only one he has issues with, then maybe it’s me. That’s stupid but sometimes it makes sense. He says I know exactly what buttons to push and sometimes I don’t stop when he says stop in an argument. But I feel like I’m only trying to be heard. I’m not intentionally trying to get him upset like that.
My son is biracial (white/black) and has dark brown eyes, his partner is white with dark brown eyes yet my beautiful granddaughter has amazingly blue eyes….. his partner didn’t cheat, my granddaughter just takes after her grandad(my partner)
According to some people on here maybe I should be getting her tested…..
He didn't tell OP the resemblance, that alone would be uncomfortable but not extreme. Him giving OP her clothes and not saying anything, giving OP the same nickname, not talking about his late wife (especially to his daughter), not giving his daughter her mom's pictures or showing her… all together is weird and problematic imo.
Snoop? Yeah, you sound like a troll. You’re the one that’s pathetic because you can’t seem to understand what it means to do research on a person. I research everyone I talk to not just this person.
That's the big thing for me. Either he's so sincere that it kind of blows me away, whatever that means, or he's devious on a level that I would have never guessed.
Regardless of his feelings on abortion, the real issue here is if you got pregnant right now, you'd want an abortion and he wouldn't. That in itself is a fundamental incompatibility. I'd say end the relationship not just because of his broader views, but because this could become a real situation you two might have to navigate together, and it doesn't sound like you'd be on the same page. This is not something that could be compromised on should the situation arise.
The issue isn't that he is into those things and you aren't, the issue is that he isn't making time for you. Ask him why he wants to be with you if he doesn't want to actually spend any time with you each day since it sounds like would rather do that than engage with you. If I was single I'd probably act like he does but I would rather be with my partner than do those things.
Of course we are only seeing one side of it, could be that you are not compromising to make time to spend with him either.
Yeahh she did post about me. Her last post was on 29th January which she stated on about how many promises that i’ve broken. Even our pictures of many years.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean they are the partner to commit to. You have a lot of life left to on-line, to gain the wisdom to properly choose a partner to settle down with.
He was pleased by her attention and he let everything happened. He should ‘ve refused going to a concert with another woman (it was like he went on a date) and he should’ve cut off all their communications also but now she’s into him and she’ll do whaever she can to et him. Be careful thinking he’ll never cheat on you because the way things progressed slowly like this situation has anything could happen. He could get into an emotional affair also.
Have a talk with him and put up boundaries like going out together and texting things not related to work. If he starts de call you controling then probably he’s already into her.
I definitely don't. I'm not a big texter myself and as much as I'd like to hear from someone every day, it could just be one text to say goodnight.
It's only because he's away and I can't see him that it's getting to me and I'd like to hear from him more. I don't even think we have to talk every day, I'm not hung up on that, it's just that when we do talk, he doesn't say much and it's hard for me to carry the conversation. I can't go the whole time without talking but I also bounce off people when I do talk and I'm not getting much from him to bounce off.
This is one of the reasons I don't do LDR – I like being with someone. I can happily sit in silence with someone in person but I have phone anxiety as it is and silence on the phone makes me anxious.
I might ask him one time if we can face time and just do our own thing – like, he games and I game so we play games and face time and then the silence isn't so bad. I think the silence is awkward on phones because I feel more pressure to fill it because the focus is usually on the people involved, if that makes sense.
So I don't think we have to talk every day. I just don't want to have the pressure of carrying conversations, that's probably a better way to explain it. None of this is a problem if he wasn't away for so long.
Sound like you have some communicating to do. 'he didn't ask' well, why don't you just tell him then?
Your whole post is about you wanting stuff and him not being able to magically sense what you need.
Tell him what you are looking for in a relationship and ask him if that is something he can provide. If so, make a plan about working on it together. If not, conclude you are not a match. Stop using sex, or withholding it, as a means to an end. That is not fair nor constructive.
Since it was a joke you aren't actually engaged yet and will be once he gets a real ring at that later date? Or that part makes this all the more confusing on why she would be this upset.
I would spend some time cooling off and looking at ways to make some new friends. Stop trying to make things right when you didn't do anything wrong. If they are upset they can be upset.
No you’re good no biggie. I’m terrible at wording stuff too
One time a coworker right I was single and have me get number on Friday. I was dating someone so I never texted her. Come Monday I was basically a social pariah. It was like I had the plague the way they avoided me as a group
He doesn’t take any responsibility for how his world perception hurts you. He cares more for his needs than his own
This can be applied to both father and fiancé… I’d reconsider this ultimatum. Set boundaries and standards for the life you can be happy in. If fiancé won’t meet them, he won’t make you happy, it’s simple maths.
He's really insecure and it's NOT your fault. This is only going to get worse. He WILL get more controlling. Get out ASAP before it goes any farther
Projection.
Try telling him something similar, and see if you get a very reasonable reaction.
He blames me for a lot of it. Sometimes it makes sense because he is literally pretty much perfect and everyone loves him. If I’m the only one he has issues with, then maybe it’s me. That’s stupid but sometimes it makes sense. He says I know exactly what buttons to push and sometimes I don’t stop when he says stop in an argument. But I feel like I’m only trying to be heard. I’m not intentionally trying to get him upset like that.
Bro i dont know how to talk in english so i had to search about words and vocabulary i didnt know how can i shorten it more
My son is biracial (white/black) and has dark brown eyes, his partner is white with dark brown eyes yet my beautiful granddaughter has amazingly blue eyes….. his partner didn’t cheat, my granddaughter just takes after her grandad(my partner)
According to some people on here maybe I should be getting her tested…..
He didn't tell OP the resemblance, that alone would be uncomfortable but not extreme. Him giving OP her clothes and not saying anything, giving OP the same nickname, not talking about his late wife (especially to his daughter), not giving his daughter her mom's pictures or showing her… all together is weird and problematic imo.
It's like the husband replaced one for the other
Yeah, there is no rush. Settle back and see how it goes.
Snoop? Yeah, you sound like a troll. You’re the one that’s pathetic because you can’t seem to understand what it means to do research on a person. I research everyone I talk to not just this person.
That's the big thing for me. Either he's so sincere that it kind of blows me away, whatever that means, or he's devious on a level that I would have never guessed.
Regardless of his feelings on abortion, the real issue here is if you got pregnant right now, you'd want an abortion and he wouldn't. That in itself is a fundamental incompatibility. I'd say end the relationship not just because of his broader views, but because this could become a real situation you two might have to navigate together, and it doesn't sound like you'd be on the same page. This is not something that could be compromised on should the situation arise.
The issue isn't that he is into those things and you aren't, the issue is that he isn't making time for you. Ask him why he wants to be with you if he doesn't want to actually spend any time with you each day since it sounds like would rather do that than engage with you. If I was single I'd probably act like he does but I would rather be with my partner than do those things.
Of course we are only seeing one side of it, could be that you are not compromising to make time to spend with him either.
It doesn’t, actually, but you do you.
Yeahh she did post about me. Her last post was on 29th January which she stated on about how many promises that i’ve broken. Even our pictures of many years.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean they are the partner to commit to. You have a lot of life left to on-line, to gain the wisdom to properly choose a partner to settle down with.
This is hitting all the red flags for a fake Reddit story
He was pleased by her attention and he let everything happened. He should ‘ve refused going to a concert with another woman (it was like he went on a date) and he should’ve cut off all their communications also but now she’s into him and she’ll do whaever she can to et him. Be careful thinking he’ll never cheat on you because the way things progressed slowly like this situation has anything could happen. He could get into an emotional affair also.
Have a talk with him and put up boundaries like going out together and texting things not related to work. If he starts de call you controling then probably he’s already into her.
I definitely don't. I'm not a big texter myself and as much as I'd like to hear from someone every day, it could just be one text to say goodnight.
It's only because he's away and I can't see him that it's getting to me and I'd like to hear from him more. I don't even think we have to talk every day, I'm not hung up on that, it's just that when we do talk, he doesn't say much and it's hard for me to carry the conversation. I can't go the whole time without talking but I also bounce off people when I do talk and I'm not getting much from him to bounce off.
This is one of the reasons I don't do LDR – I like being with someone. I can happily sit in silence with someone in person but I have phone anxiety as it is and silence on the phone makes me anxious.
I might ask him one time if we can face time and just do our own thing – like, he games and I game so we play games and face time and then the silence isn't so bad. I think the silence is awkward on phones because I feel more pressure to fill it because the focus is usually on the people involved, if that makes sense.
So I don't think we have to talk every day. I just don't want to have the pressure of carrying conversations, that's probably a better way to explain it. None of this is a problem if he wasn't away for so long.
Sound like you have some communicating to do. 'he didn't ask' well, why don't you just tell him then?
Your whole post is about you wanting stuff and him not being able to magically sense what you need.
Tell him what you are looking for in a relationship and ask him if that is something he can provide. If so, make a plan about working on it together. If not, conclude you are not a match. Stop using sex, or withholding it, as a means to an end. That is not fair nor constructive.
Since it was a joke you aren't actually engaged yet and will be once he gets a real ring at that later date? Or that part makes this all the more confusing on why she would be this upset.
I would spend some time cooling off and looking at ways to make some new friends. Stop trying to make things right when you didn't do anything wrong. If they are upset they can be upset.
Q: Can you continue on a casual FWB thing or do you need more?
If they have a mutual agreement I might be okay with FWB, but I would not be exclusive and would want to find someone I could have more with.
If he doesn't know or is PUD then I couldn't continue seeing her.
Not enough information, and not answering anyone's questions….
No you’re good no biggie. I’m terrible at wording stuff too
One time a coworker right I was single and have me get number on Friday. I was dating someone so I never texted her. Come Monday I was basically a social pariah. It was like I had the plague the way they avoided me as a group
And we didn’t even sleep together or date lol
I would just approach this with caution
He doesn’t take any responsibility for how his world perception hurts you. He cares more for his needs than his own
This can be applied to both father and fiancé… I’d reconsider this ultimatum. Set boundaries and standards for the life you can be happy in. If fiancé won’t meet them, he won’t make you happy, it’s simple maths.
Block him.