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1. What the hell does it matter how it's framed. They went on a ski trip together, and you just stood idly by and watched it happen. It's time to grow a pair and kick her to the curb. Sell the house and move on to a better, more fulfilling relationship with someone who can respect you, and you can respect them.

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2. Seconding this advice after years of working in financial services

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3. break up with him. There is no reason for this, and frankly he will cheat again. They always do…He is also dishonest for hiding it. She clearly wants him too, so if you decide to stay and I say why? She has to go immediately. I would never trust him again.

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4. I think if he treated her badly when they're alone she would recognise it.

   Yup. She's still free to leave, so his mask of politeness is still on.

   Then one day when she's all in and committed he'll change and she'll wonder what happened.

   A person's character and personality is consistent across all people the couple meet and interact with. If the behaviors don't match, there's a problem.

   BTW, yes, I recognize going to a professional work function vs a familial recreational function people act differently, but those acts are superficial. With colleagues, it's polite dialog about work or industry, with family it's talk of family and other casual talk. But the underlying behavior of respect and feelings around the interaction is usually consistent.

   For OP, her BF's behavior is not even consistent on a superficial level.

   This would concern me.

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