I wouldn't accept that behavior at all. He gets so irate at you that he has to go out and yell at his roommates? He also refused to leave your house because he was so mad. The next step is him lot leaving and hitting you.
He needs to get to RA meetings for his anger issues.
Do not take him back until he goes to this. Or goes to a therapist regularly.
There isn't a solution where everyone is happy. So rule that out. Just decide who you want to be unhappy and go from there. Gotta be the would-be mum-in-law, right? She sounds like a right sourpuss. So, maybe tell a trusted adult on your side of the family or a more mature friend (someone over 26) about the situation. Talk it out. Make a plan. Do you want short-term solutions or are you willing to wait it out? Think it through.
Agreed. Being comfortable with your own company is pretty important imho.
But that doesn’t mean op has to think they will always be alone (you’re obviously not saying that but saying for his benefit). There are people out there who don’t want a lavish life and will value being practical. They will be a better suited partner because their values will be aligned.
Also Op? That fyre festival is quite the story isn’t it?
Update I tried to discuss a divorce she says she wont allow a divorce and that she will do anything to fix things including not having anymore contact with the girl she was falling in love with. I want to believe that she would do anything but im also not stupid enough to think you can just stop having sexual desires for the opposite sex because you wanna be straight or fix your marriage. She really seems like she wants to make it work are we both fooling ourselves into something that is doomed?
Reminder her is that specific sexy thing you guys did, and how you can’t stop thinking about her.
Or that it drove you wild
Or that it’s distracting you from work
How her hair falls across her face, how she looks in your favorite outfit, how she smells, the sound of her breathing as you hold her in bed …. Doesn’t have to be sexual.
Ask for a selfie in her lunch break, ask her what she is eating, how her day is going, just show her that she is on your mind.
My boy loved hearing I could still smell him in my hair.
Trick is …. Don’t send too many at once, it will start to sound disingenuous.
Just pick something about her that you love (even the fact she’s asked for foreplay all day) and tell her that you adore it.
Something like “I’m really enjoying thinking up new and interesting ways to tell you how much I adore you, it makes the time we are apart more bearable”
I love just getting a text from my boy that says “you are on my mind” swoon
I was going to say this! Red flags going off. This is a sign that your mom is gonna have too much say in your relationship. Set a boundary now. It doesn’t have to be a big deal but the whole “mama doesn’t care for me making connections with other women bc she’s my main woman” is down right incestuous… emotionally of course.
It's great that you get all this out on the table now so you can work out your options.
But from this post alone it appears you guys aren't compatible.
If tradition is something big in your life and it's not in his and there is no compromise whats the point of continuing a dead end relationship?
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Even if the threats are true what has changed
He still has the pics and therefore still has control
Move on , this was not the drama you signed up for
The good old: rules for thee, but not for me…
I wouldn't accept that behavior at all. He gets so irate at you that he has to go out and yell at his roommates? He also refused to leave your house because he was so mad. The next step is him lot leaving and hitting you.
He needs to get to RA meetings for his anger issues.
Do not take him back until he goes to this. Or goes to a therapist regularly.
There isn't a solution where everyone is happy. So rule that out. Just decide who you want to be unhappy and go from there. Gotta be the would-be mum-in-law, right? She sounds like a right sourpuss. So, maybe tell a trusted adult on your side of the family or a more mature friend (someone over 26) about the situation. Talk it out. Make a plan. Do you want short-term solutions or are you willing to wait it out? Think it through.
Agreed. Being comfortable with your own company is pretty important imho.
But that doesn’t mean op has to think they will always be alone (you’re obviously not saying that but saying for his benefit). There are people out there who don’t want a lavish life and will value being practical. They will be a better suited partner because their values will be aligned.
Also Op? That fyre festival is quite the story isn’t it?
Update I tried to discuss a divorce she says she wont allow a divorce and that she will do anything to fix things including not having anymore contact with the girl she was falling in love with. I want to believe that she would do anything but im also not stupid enough to think you can just stop having sexual desires for the opposite sex because you wanna be straight or fix your marriage. She really seems like she wants to make it work are we both fooling ourselves into something that is doomed?
Reminder her is that specific sexy thing you guys did, and how you can’t stop thinking about her.
Or that it drove you wild
Or that it’s distracting you from work
How her hair falls across her face, how she looks in your favorite outfit, how she smells, the sound of her breathing as you hold her in bed …. Doesn’t have to be sexual.
Ask for a selfie in her lunch break, ask her what she is eating, how her day is going, just show her that she is on your mind.
My boy loved hearing I could still smell him in my hair.
Trick is …. Don’t send too many at once, it will start to sound disingenuous.
Just pick something about her that you love (even the fact she’s asked for foreplay all day) and tell her that you adore it.
Something like “I’m really enjoying thinking up new and interesting ways to tell you how much I adore you, it makes the time we are apart more bearable”
I love just getting a text from my boy that says “you are on my mind” swoon
I was going to say this! Red flags going off. This is a sign that your mom is gonna have too much say in your relationship. Set a boundary now. It doesn’t have to be a big deal but the whole “mama doesn’t care for me making connections with other women bc she’s my main woman” is down right incestuous… emotionally of course.
And I could not have asked for a more positive group of people! I cannot wait to let her read through all of these responses after I propose. ??
Thank you ❤️