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Date: October 25, 2022
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Calling it financial infidelity is kind. It’s a betrayal and it’s stealing. And he knew it was wrong and did it anyway. I’d have a naked time coming back from that. But please, tell us how he spent it?
One of my friends cried because she was in a jury that had decided that a man was guilty of stealing. Her heart strings were tugged at because he couldn’t afford a family holiday or any extra curricular for his kids. His testimony was all about how he wanted his kids to have a normal upbringing and he could barely afford to feed them and keep a roof over their heads. So instead of his wife getting a job, or just communicating with the kids that they couldn’t have everything he stole from the post he was delivering. Anyone sending cash as a gift, he’d pocket it and resell the envelope. He even had a method for doing it so the envelope wouldn’t be damaged and could easily be reseated.
She felt awful saying guilty because it would make their family worse off if he went to prison.
The thing is, he knew stealing was wrong. He knew that in order to make his kids happy, there were children opening empty envelopes on their birthdays.
He knew it was wrong and hurting others but did it anyway, knowing the risk was prison so he consented to that risk.
Your, hopefully now ex, knows what he did is wrong and accepted that he could lose his PhD and decided that was an acceptable risk.
He is a predator and the university awarding him a PhD will give him the credentials to do the same to other students throughout his career.
This is your opportunity to prevent one of those horrific scandals you hear about where professors sleep with students to give them better grades or to take advantage.
I think you should break up with her
She should be with you because she wants to be with you. You shouldn’t have to “compete” with anybody. It sounds like she’s emotionally cheating or maybe even trying to cheat.
Don’t fly to her, and tell her that you deserve to be more than someone she “gives a chance.” Because you do deserve more than that.
I know the default advice on this sub is to throw in the towel at the first bump in the road, but my goal on this is to work through it. Plenty of relationships survive things like this. And while we are similarly flawed people, and while what you said might have been sound advice a couple years ago, I am looking for a way to deal with it today – at a time where we seem to have grown beyond some of the underlying issues we had earlier.
The binary choice I’m working with is either keep it to myself with the understanding I can’t be mad about this given my past, or open up to her about it.
I dunoooo lmao. Your attacted to money and while thats okay for you, it isn't for some people. Doubt he'd like to know that too.
oink oink
You’re seeing a preview of how every fight and argument will go. Her and her son are untouchable and everything is your fault. Why sign up for more of this? Even if she’s beautiful and you like sex with her or whatever this is not worth it. Find someone who respects you as a partner and communicates/compromises.
Bro you don't have to put up with anything. You need to leave to save yourself from a long heartbreak you will be putting yourself into.
My husband would've said split it with your friends that is stupid to pay yourself. Also my friends circle we don't do this. You pay for your own way. On your bday we split your meal. Gf is being ridiculous
I agree with the other Redditors; that's an odd comment she made. Maybe she just wanted to say that she wants you to initiate more.
But what's have me worried is that for me, this would be a red flag if she talks and “compering” you to someone else. Hers and yours intimacy moments shouldn't be based on an experience with someone else. Each intimacy moment is unique.
Maybe she has an unrealistic view and expectation on intimacy between partners.
Dude. If the moment is right, you don't need to feel like you lack experience. You will just be positively neevous. You are two in a relationship on discovering a sacred moment together. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
“Can't judge someone based on a reddit post”… Oh sweet, summer child… You came to a relationship advice sub to explain that you were fucking around on your boyfriend. There was never going to be a version of this where you weren't going to get the advice to maybe not pogo onto anyone slinging dick your way while you're already in a relationship.
It’s mainly because he needs to pay for tuition and other living costs like food/phone bills/car insurance. He still gets some money from his mom every month, but if he splits rent with me, he would only have around 400 a month.
I pay for rent+gas+WiFi, and he pays for electricity. We have an excel sheet to document all costs. I didn’t want him to be too stressed out about school and also money so I offered to help.
When we first started going out, he paid for rent, but at the time we had other housemates so our rent was half the amount compared to now. The second place we moved into, he paid his portion for the first couple of months, but he had to budget really naked. We couldn’t go out to eat as often and I would restrain myself from buying groceries that costs more. So we ended up just writing down what he owes me, and we both get to enjoy things a little more.