Depending on where you take things, if you commit to her you commit to her family. Maybe not all in but if she has relations you will never get away with having no relationship. That does t support her and is unrealistic. And there you have it. You have a choice.
i bought the flowers in the end, also i stated. if you meant that it was better if i bought them before she became upset, then yea obviously now i know that. i didnt avoid doing that because i felt like it wouldve made *me* look pathetic, but bc i thought it wouldve made her look pathetic; like she is focused on the MacGuffin that she is totally oblivious to the fact that it's meaning and purpose are long obselete. i dont care taking some ego punches, just as i did when it came clear to me that the gesture is still relevant.
Does he have a high sex drive or just a normal one where he is looking for companionship and yours is just abnormally low? He sounds like a healthy man who made the right choice. Find someone who matches your energy. He's not the issue.
“better establish boundary” ??? You said “don't sleep with the horny woman that wants me out of the picture.” He slept with the horny woman that wants you out of the picture. The fact that this place holder is still in his life is a huge red flag. What does she offer him that he is willing to ruin your relationship to keep? My take is that he's immature and hedging on cutting out this woman cause he likes the attention and is subconsciously keeping her on standby. Do with that, what you want.
I honestly don't have much to add because this is well out of my league but I will say this: him cleaning up his act because you said you wouldn't have kids with him is most likely not a good sign. It doesn't seem like he changed because he wanted to, but rather he wanted something.
Months back I was browsing on some subreddit and a woman was saying how abusive her husband became after the baby. He completely alienated her alone with the baby and completely tore down her mentality without ever physically abusing her. He constantly told her how stupid she was, how she was an unfit mother, that she should be able to look after their child alone, etc. She stated before he was a wonderful husband.
Please think about his ulterior motives. He may view you having his children as trapping you.
Chicks do it a lot
It's none of his business that you bought a house.
Just break up and follow through with it. Block him from everything if you need to quit allowing him to come back into your life.
Definitely had some people in mind and wanted sex without the cheating label.
Also OP, it’s a universal truth that it’s much easier for women to find casual sex. There’s nothing you can do about it.
the birthday was coincidence. She didn't remember it was my birthday.
Depending on where you take things, if you commit to her you commit to her family. Maybe not all in but if she has relations you will never get away with having no relationship. That does t support her and is unrealistic. And there you have it. You have a choice.
You saying that SHE wants to play victim, after the example you used, is absolutely hysterical.
The right person wouldnt have friends like that in the first place. And Yes, they would cut them off.
money wasnt the problem, as i stated.
i bought the flowers in the end, also i stated. if you meant that it was better if i bought them before she became upset, then yea obviously now i know that. i didnt avoid doing that because i felt like it wouldve made *me* look pathetic, but bc i thought it wouldve made her look pathetic; like she is focused on the MacGuffin that she is totally oblivious to the fact that it's meaning and purpose are long obselete. i dont care taking some ego punches, just as i did when it came clear to me that the gesture is still relevant.
I on-line with my gf and we do that. To each their own but I strongly prefer this over my ex who would regularly let it rip in front of me.
Yeah I don't want to trash OP who's just looking for help, but this feels more like an empathy disconnect than anything else.
Does he have a high sex drive or just a normal one where he is looking for companionship and yours is just abnormally low? He sounds like a healthy man who made the right choice. Find someone who matches your energy. He's not the issue.
“better establish boundary” ??? You said “don't sleep with the horny woman that wants me out of the picture.” He slept with the horny woman that wants you out of the picture. The fact that this place holder is still in his life is a huge red flag. What does she offer him that he is willing to ruin your relationship to keep? My take is that he's immature and hedging on cutting out this woman cause he likes the attention and is subconsciously keeping her on standby. Do with that, what you want.
I honestly don't have much to add because this is well out of my league but I will say this: him cleaning up his act because you said you wouldn't have kids with him is most likely not a good sign. It doesn't seem like he changed because he wanted to, but rather he wanted something.
Months back I was browsing on some subreddit and a woman was saying how abusive her husband became after the baby. He completely alienated her alone with the baby and completely tore down her mentality without ever physically abusing her. He constantly told her how stupid she was, how she was an unfit mother, that she should be able to look after their child alone, etc. She stated before he was a wonderful husband.
Please think about his ulterior motives. He may view you having his children as trapping you.
What the actual heck are you letting being done with you?
YOU put your money into your joint account. You have no access to.
So 1) it's HIS account and HE pockets YOUR money.
2) And now he even refuses to let you use your own money.
And 3) is angry because you earn a nice sum! As he sees it arriving.
Get your own account.
STOP paying into his.
Save a bit.
NEVER move! Don't!
Get divorce/ annulment.
And take a safe contraceptive. Otherwise he will try other means to nail you to your garden door and make you unable to leave home. (Children).