Your wife sounds fucking useless and exhausting. I've been in almost this exact situation. In grad school, supporting 2 people on 25.5k USD/year. Partner was ridiculously picky and had all kinds of mental health issues that she refused to work on.
Just accept that if you stay in this situation dragging around her dead weight, she will inevitably drag you down with her. Her issues will end up ruling your life. You'll need to tiptoe around everything you do because one wrong move could send her over the edge. I'd say get out now.
Your ex was not a good man..he got his karma as you said. However, he is now trying to pull you down with him. Get yourself ready for war OP. You can do this.
There is something else you need to consider. When he goes through all this process to become successful there is no guarantee that you will be the one he chooses to marry. He could just find himself a younger option. After all he will have choices then. This is a risky game and no guarantee you will get anything from it.
I mean if you have zero intention of anything happening, as you should, a drink among colleagues isn't bad, is there another guy at work you can invite? A team building exercise?
Maybe say sure I'm sure the wife won't mind if I go for one or two after work and we can invite more members of staff, it'll be a great way to get to know each other outside of work and build some trust with each other.
This way you will know her intention and she will get the hint you're married and not interested in that capacity.
I agree with the other poster, spoil your wife this week. If the sparks gone, reignite it.
Have a think, though, about why you are giving head space to the comment from a random woman – don't allow her words to influence the way you see yourself.
Yeah, this. It reads to me like this woman came in saying she was a therapist and offering to diagnose why he just through a break-up. It would make sense that there's a fresh wound there and someone claiming to be an expert gave him an answer he didn't expect.
And yes, love bombing is totally a thing but this doesn't read like it at all.
You are getting voted down because love bombing is a manipulation tactic by narcissistic abusers. By claiming you are a love bomber you are also telling others you are abusive and manipulating. Please look up the difference between love bombing vs. sincere showering with love and affection or gifts during the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
If someone doesn’t want to date a single parent they’re loud and obnoxious about it, I promise you. I had my daughter in my early 20s, I’m 30 now, I’ve never had this issue or even coke across it outside of Reddit. No one in real life tells people about their children on the first date.
You’re entitled to your preferences but you are an AH in what you said to her. Calling her a “dude” is disgusting and transphobic. You both behaved poorly here, but you were hateful and bigoted. Yes one can argue that she should have told you, but if you have deal breakers it’s on you to communicate them.
Damn. I was bluffing…You still could have moved your Queen to ….
Nvm, I know jack shit about chess.
Your wife sounds fucking useless and exhausting. I've been in almost this exact situation. In grad school, supporting 2 people on 25.5k USD/year. Partner was ridiculously picky and had all kinds of mental health issues that she refused to work on.
Just accept that if you stay in this situation dragging around her dead weight, she will inevitably drag you down with her. Her issues will end up ruling your life. You'll need to tiptoe around everything you do because one wrong move could send her over the edge. I'd say get out now.
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Your ex was not a good man..he got his karma as you said. However, he is now trying to pull you down with him. Get yourself ready for war OP. You can do this.
There is something else you need to consider. When he goes through all this process to become successful there is no guarantee that you will be the one he chooses to marry. He could just find himself a younger option. After all he will have choices then. This is a risky game and no guarantee you will get anything from it.
I mean if you have zero intention of anything happening, as you should, a drink among colleagues isn't bad, is there another guy at work you can invite? A team building exercise?
Maybe say sure I'm sure the wife won't mind if I go for one or two after work and we can invite more members of staff, it'll be a great way to get to know each other outside of work and build some trust with each other.
This way you will know her intention and she will get the hint you're married and not interested in that capacity.
I agree with the other poster, spoil your wife this week. If the sparks gone, reignite it.
Have a think, though, about why you are giving head space to the comment from a random woman – don't allow her words to influence the way you see yourself.
Yeah, this. It reads to me like this woman came in saying she was a therapist and offering to diagnose why he just through a break-up. It would make sense that there's a fresh wound there and someone claiming to be an expert gave him an answer he didn't expect.
And yes, love bombing is totally a thing but this doesn't read like it at all.
You are getting voted down because love bombing is a manipulation tactic by narcissistic abusers. By claiming you are a love bomber you are also telling others you are abusive and manipulating. Please look up the difference between love bombing vs. sincere showering with love and affection or gifts during the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
If someone doesn’t want to date a single parent they’re loud and obnoxious about it, I promise you. I had my daughter in my early 20s, I’m 30 now, I’ve never had this issue or even coke across it outside of Reddit. No one in real life tells people about their children on the first date.
You’re entitled to your preferences but you are an AH in what you said to her. Calling her a “dude” is disgusting and transphobic. You both behaved poorly here, but you were hateful and bigoted. Yes one can argue that she should have told you, but if you have deal breakers it’s on you to communicate them.