17 thoughts on “Kris-tilain on-line sex chats for YOU!”
Yes, when she got pregnant and refused to abort it I started to document some of the things she would say to me because in my head I was concerned for the childs well-being if I broke up with her. I knew a time may come were I may need to break up with her which, will cause her BPD to spiral out of control and the baby's well-being could be in danger.
The big problem is she is claiming she has said these type of things to him and he has not said a word to you about it. You definitely need to discuss with him and let him know she is crossing boundaries which are unacceptable. I’d also question why he hasn’t mentioned it.
Makes me wonder what they have discussed and is she testing the waters for them to approach you about an open/poly relationship?
You need to be clear about with what you are comfortable and that what she is doing is not ok. That if she has said these things to him that it is upsetting to know that he has not mentioned it or shit it down.
Doesn't seem like she's as into you as you are in her. Long distance can be tough. Especially if you aren't spending much time together.
Also you need to be upfront with her not “you seem tense, no nvm I'm over thinking things” tell her that her not responding, her ditching your plans without telling you, her being distant. Is what's bothering you.
Wow this is so sad for your girlfriend, 5 years in a relationship did you never tell her you don't like children? If she really wants children maybe she can freeze her eggs right now, and find someone who wants a family. But you need to tell her as soon as today, so she can make different plans. I you love her tell her.
If everyone in your family dislikes her and she makes you feel bad constantly… what more is there to say?
Also, even if people don't seem “objective” to you, a lot of the time they will have valuable input and valid opinions anyway. You shouldn't dismiss everything your family say just because you feel they are biased. That's just closing yourself to information that can help you navigate better.
I think you’re ignoring the fact that this was a 9 year relationship that occupied most of her adulthood up until now. It’s going to have an effect on her.
Boyfriends tantrum is very red flag, especially to behave that way around your children… if you really want to try to salvage this I’d suggest couples counseling… but I’d probably lose all respect for my partner forever if they threw a temper tantrum like that
I have done therapy but I feel like they just repeat what I say back to me and it feels like a waste of my time. I know that sounds ignorant and it probably is. I'm currently on anti depressants. And working and keeping myself busy af. But as soon as I'm idle driving for example I just break down and have intrusive thoughts it's fucked I'm completely broken right now
There's 2monly one way you can deal with it if you have a spine / any self respect. Walk the fuck away.
The only question is how you do it. It sounds like you work together, so it's not like you can easily cut her out of your life. But yeah… you need to leave and you probably need a new job.
You’re correct, it does encompass a lot of different things but I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to say that something like struggling to maintain proper hygiene possibly correlating with neurodivergence is an insult to half the population. If you are ND, this might not be something you struggle with. A large portion of the ND population DOES struggle with things like brushing their teeth and taking showers. Just because it is important for your health to maintain proper hygiene does not mean that they have had the opportunities or resources available for them find solutions that work for them and that they are able to establish a routine for.
It is very possible that OPs boyfriend is, in fact, ND. It is also very possible that whatever disorders he might have are undiagnosed and unmanaged. If so, he probably has never had the opportunity to receive proper help with the things he struggles with. That being said, it’s quite inappropriate and degrading for you to call him “too dumb to figure out….” and talk about him like he is less of a person just because this is something that you do not struggle with. He might have sensory issues. Some of the things I suggested might actually help with that. This isn’t treating him like a child. This is working through a problem that he has had since childhood and has given up on finding something that works for him.
Also, thank you for pointing out that some people can be sensitive to laundry detergents. I think you might have misread somewhere because I specifically mentioned how I am sensitive to specific laundry detergents. For the rest of #2, I was using humor to bring up my concern for OPs reproductive health. I don’t think I was being mean and I’m sorry if it seemed that way to you.
OP, I’d be happy to delete that part if it made you uncomfortable!
We may just have different levels of trust in others to control their impulses. If someone asks me if they can do something I think is wrong and I say no, that Pandora’s box is open. I’d think they’re going to do it regardless of my answer. Good on you if you’re a more trusting person than that.
I think it would bother me coz it means they don’t feel the same way about it. When I have sex it’s like a bonding experience. I’ve tried casual and trying to stay separated from it. I never could. And when I realised the other person could I’ve never felt more isolated and alone.
Id at least like to feel it has some meaning to the other person. And if they’ve had loads of casual sex then it probably doesn’t have the same meaning to them
Yes, when she got pregnant and refused to abort it I started to document some of the things she would say to me because in my head I was concerned for the childs well-being if I broke up with her. I knew a time may come were I may need to break up with her which, will cause her BPD to spiral out of control and the baby's well-being could be in danger.
Gross
The big problem is she is claiming she has said these type of things to him and he has not said a word to you about it. You definitely need to discuss with him and let him know she is crossing boundaries which are unacceptable. I’d also question why he hasn’t mentioned it.
Makes me wonder what they have discussed and is she testing the waters for them to approach you about an open/poly relationship?
You need to be clear about with what you are comfortable and that what she is doing is not ok. That if she has said these things to him that it is upsetting to know that he has not mentioned it or shit it down.
Doesn't seem like she's as into you as you are in her. Long distance can be tough. Especially if you aren't spending much time together.
Also you need to be upfront with her not “you seem tense, no nvm I'm over thinking things” tell her that her not responding, her ditching your plans without telling you, her being distant. Is what's bothering you.
Wow this is so sad for your girlfriend, 5 years in a relationship did you never tell her you don't like children? If she really wants children maybe she can freeze her eggs right now, and find someone who wants a family. But you need to tell her as soon as today, so she can make different plans. I you love her tell her.
If everyone in your family dislikes her and she makes you feel bad constantly… what more is there to say?
Also, even if people don't seem “objective” to you, a lot of the time they will have valuable input and valid opinions anyway. You shouldn't dismiss everything your family say just because you feel they are biased. That's just closing yourself to information that can help you navigate better.
I think you’re ignoring the fact that this was a 9 year relationship that occupied most of her adulthood up until now. It’s going to have an effect on her.
Boyfriends tantrum is very red flag, especially to behave that way around your children… if you really want to try to salvage this I’d suggest couples counseling… but I’d probably lose all respect for my partner forever if they threw a temper tantrum like that
She sounds like a narcissist. You were never going to win. 🙁
I have done therapy but I feel like they just repeat what I say back to me and it feels like a waste of my time. I know that sounds ignorant and it probably is. I'm currently on anti depressants. And working and keeping myself busy af. But as soon as I'm idle driving for example I just break down and have intrusive thoughts it's fucked I'm completely broken right now
There's 2monly one way you can deal with it if you have a spine / any self respect. Walk the fuck away.
The only question is how you do it. It sounds like you work together, so it's not like you can easily cut her out of your life. But yeah… you need to leave and you probably need a new job.
Pro-tip: don't shit where you eat in future.
You’re correct, it does encompass a lot of different things but I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to say that something like struggling to maintain proper hygiene possibly correlating with neurodivergence is an insult to half the population. If you are ND, this might not be something you struggle with. A large portion of the ND population DOES struggle with things like brushing their teeth and taking showers. Just because it is important for your health to maintain proper hygiene does not mean that they have had the opportunities or resources available for them find solutions that work for them and that they are able to establish a routine for.
It is very possible that OPs boyfriend is, in fact, ND. It is also very possible that whatever disorders he might have are undiagnosed and unmanaged. If so, he probably has never had the opportunity to receive proper help with the things he struggles with. That being said, it’s quite inappropriate and degrading for you to call him “too dumb to figure out….” and talk about him like he is less of a person just because this is something that you do not struggle with. He might have sensory issues. Some of the things I suggested might actually help with that. This isn’t treating him like a child. This is working through a problem that he has had since childhood and has given up on finding something that works for him.
Also, thank you for pointing out that some people can be sensitive to laundry detergents. I think you might have misread somewhere because I specifically mentioned how I am sensitive to specific laundry detergents. For the rest of #2, I was using humor to bring up my concern for OPs reproductive health. I don’t think I was being mean and I’m sorry if it seemed that way to you.
OP, I’d be happy to delete that part if it made you uncomfortable!
Boss move would be telling her she's right and you're putting the relationship on hold until you move out and become an adult
A lot are seeing action…
We have several that will not be home till 24. There jobs are held by the company
You’re so entitled.
We may just have different levels of trust in others to control their impulses. If someone asks me if they can do something I think is wrong and I say no, that Pandora’s box is open. I’d think they’re going to do it regardless of my answer. Good on you if you’re a more trusting person than that.
I think it would bother me coz it means they don’t feel the same way about it. When I have sex it’s like a bonding experience. I’ve tried casual and trying to stay separated from it. I never could. And when I realised the other person could I’ve never felt more isolated and alone.
Id at least like to feel it has some meaning to the other person. And if they’ve had loads of casual sex then it probably doesn’t have the same meaning to them