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There are men out there who would tell you you’re beautiful when you’re feeling bloated and crampy and haven’t showered or put on makeup. And he will truly believe it. THAT is the kind of man you should be looking for. Not someone who only values you if you make yourself what he wants, no matter how unhealthy it is.
If you don't have your own self-control you can't give that responsibility to someone else. She's not your mom and you asked her to do a mom-type thing for you.
You can unplug and box up your game system away yourself.
This was probably the most helpful advice I’ve gotten yet and I sincerely appreciate it. The cats have always been like this, and seem unbothered by the baby. A year and a half ago we moved into a much bigger house, not using the downstairs at all other than the laundry room. Since moving, the cats have so much room and tend to spread out and can leave pee I’m random places that can go unnoticed for a while. We are set to move to a much smaller place in two months and I look forward to a more manageable space, and opportunity to start fresh.
She is moving in with him quickly after asking to open up your relationship so she could have sex with him. You might have been there first, but you're not #1. You compromise yourself constantly to meet her demands. She doesn't want to call what you have a relationship. She doesn't want to move in with you.
You need to let it go. It really is none of your business. It was before you. He doesn't owe you the details of those encounters and from what it sounds doesn't remember them all anyway. Stop fixating on things he did with other people before you. He I assume has tested clean and yall have been together 5 years. You're doing nothing but hurting yourself and relationship with trying to force this conversation over and over again.
(and yeah my SO was with a good number of people and I was a virigin when we met. I have never once asked him about his past relationships and don't plan to ever. he shared the very basics but not even all of that and I am more than happy to leave that in the past where it belongs. it in no way impacts our life together)
It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks is cheating if your partner has that boundary for cheating then it is.
His therapist is wrong. To open a relationship the relationship you are in has to be rock solid before opening. You are no where near that. Are you sure his therapist actually said that and your bf isn't twisting things? If his therapist actually said that he needs a new therapist.
Now for the past bf. Again you didn't cheat unless that was a boundary for your ex. And your bf doesn't know if it was or not. Honestly since you never talked to your ex about you doing this you don't even know if he would consider this cheating.
Anytime you get into a relationship boundaries should be discussed so this doesn't happen.
But he now doesn't trust you. I don't see a way of fixing this. I would recommend couples therapy but this relationship is so new that would be silly. I I don't know how much good it would be.
Might be best to chalk it up to a lesson learned for the next guy.
You can give advice when he asks for it, but he is an adult and has to live! his life. You risk alienating your friends when you don’t respond positively to their life choices, you can have an opinion and share it but don’t be the opposition. Keep it light, and even when you express your concerns maintain a neutral stance like “maybe it’s a bit soon? But do whatever makes you happy” and then if it doesn’t work out he can still trust to come to you, if that makes sense.
I'm in favor of option 3. You would NOT be throwing away a 5 year relationship over a cat. You would be breaking up your partner because her behavior is concerning, and you want to be with someone who doesn't abuse animals. There's a completely reasonable thing to do regardless of the cat.
So kick YOUR WIFE out of the house, not your daugher, it's that simple. Anyone hurting your child should be away form her. Your daugher should bebyour priority, not a woman
We got back together at the end of January. I can’t imagine she knows. I am definitely not going to ghost her. We both hooked up with other people when we were apart but I always used protection
I just did. ? Basically, he’s trying to say that he isn’t actually “close” to her because he doesn’t consider her a close friend/ he doesn’t have a lot of friends to talk to about things and really needed someone. I do understand where he is coming from, but it’s just specifically this one person I asked him not to talk to..
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There are men out there who would tell you you’re beautiful when you’re feeling bloated and crampy and haven’t showered or put on makeup. And he will truly believe it. THAT is the kind of man you should be looking for. Not someone who only values you if you make yourself what he wants, no matter how unhealthy it is.
If i was with a guy who said my labia was too big or my vagina felt too lose i’d dump him.
Shaming body parts is SO unattractive. Woman or man, you have the body you were given. Some of us have to learn to use it differently.
All of use can say no to this shit, though.
I think it’s hot for me to understand, because if I’m horny and hes, I’m absolutely going to him for help.
If you don't have your own self-control you can't give that responsibility to someone else. She's not your mom and you asked her to do a mom-type thing for you.
You can unplug and box up your game system away yourself.
This was probably the most helpful advice I’ve gotten yet and I sincerely appreciate it. The cats have always been like this, and seem unbothered by the baby. A year and a half ago we moved into a much bigger house, not using the downstairs at all other than the laundry room. Since moving, the cats have so much room and tend to spread out and can leave pee I’m random places that can go unnoticed for a while. We are set to move to a much smaller place in two months and I look forward to a more manageable space, and opportunity to start fresh.
Try therapy instead. You need a professional neutral party to help you figure out why you're so disconnected from reality.
She is moving in with him quickly after asking to open up your relationship so she could have sex with him. You might have been there first, but you're not #1. You compromise yourself constantly to meet her demands. She doesn't want to call what you have a relationship. She doesn't want to move in with you.
You need to let it go. It really is none of your business. It was before you. He doesn't owe you the details of those encounters and from what it sounds doesn't remember them all anyway. Stop fixating on things he did with other people before you. He I assume has tested clean and yall have been together 5 years. You're doing nothing but hurting yourself and relationship with trying to force this conversation over and over again.
(and yeah my SO was with a good number of people and I was a virigin when we met. I have never once asked him about his past relationships and don't plan to ever. he shared the very basics but not even all of that and I am more than happy to leave that in the past where it belongs. it in no way impacts our life together)
It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks is cheating if your partner has that boundary for cheating then it is.
His therapist is wrong. To open a relationship the relationship you are in has to be rock solid before opening. You are no where near that. Are you sure his therapist actually said that and your bf isn't twisting things? If his therapist actually said that he needs a new therapist.
Now for the past bf. Again you didn't cheat unless that was a boundary for your ex. And your bf doesn't know if it was or not. Honestly since you never talked to your ex about you doing this you don't even know if he would consider this cheating.
Anytime you get into a relationship boundaries should be discussed so this doesn't happen.
But he now doesn't trust you. I don't see a way of fixing this. I would recommend couples therapy but this relationship is so new that would be silly. I I don't know how much good it would be.
Might be best to chalk it up to a lesson learned for the next guy.
You can give advice when he asks for it, but he is an adult and has to live! his life. You risk alienating your friends when you don’t respond positively to their life choices, you can have an opinion and share it but don’t be the opposition. Keep it light, and even when you express your concerns maintain a neutral stance like “maybe it’s a bit soon? But do whatever makes you happy” and then if it doesn’t work out he can still trust to come to you, if that makes sense.
I'm in favor of option 3. You would NOT be throwing away a 5 year relationship over a cat. You would be breaking up your partner because her behavior is concerning, and you want to be with someone who doesn't abuse animals. There's a completely reasonable thing to do regardless of the cat.
By any chance was it the one that got removed for formatting issues? I did have some trouble posting at first
So kick YOUR WIFE out of the house, not your daugher, it's that simple. Anyone hurting your child should be away form her. Your daugher should bebyour priority, not a woman
We got back together at the end of January. I can’t imagine she knows. I am definitely not going to ghost her. We both hooked up with other people when we were apart but I always used protection
I just did. ? Basically, he’s trying to say that he isn’t actually “close” to her because he doesn’t consider her a close friend/ he doesn’t have a lot of friends to talk to about things and really needed someone. I do understand where he is coming from, but it’s just specifically this one person I asked him not to talk to..