Yeah, it’s still marriage counseling material that he thought this was okay in the first place. I have ADHD too, there are a lot of annoying things about living with us that we cannot control, this is not one of them. Christ, parentification of your spouse is a known ADHD pitfall but this isn’t about him screwing up the chore distribution, this is straight up “aww, you’re so funny when you’re mad.” Dick move, neurotypical or not.
He doesn’t like drugs and doesn’t want to interact with people who use drugs. That’s his boundary and a perfectly acceptable one to have. You on the other hand want to use drugs and that is also perfectly acceptable.. it means you two are incompatible and it’s probably better to separate now, you both hold different values and are on different paths in life
Dump him. Let him know he shares one more picture you are going to the cops for revenge porn
Even if you were into that sort of thing, its something you do together. Its ok to be kinky but you have to be upfront and have full consent. What he did is either criminal or just short of criminal.
I got engaged to someone I met off the internet after 4 weeks. We've been together over a decade now. I recommend this practice for everyone since it worked for me.
Wait. No. The other one, where I'm an outlier and this won't work for the majority of couples.
What a shitshow you've put yourself through. Considering your gf isn't your first choice, that's where the problems start and you'll never be truly happy together because the “what ifs” with the other woman is still a major thought.
I cant believe your gf hasn't dumped you over this! Have you even put yourself in her shoes or only thought of yourself?
Do your gf a favour and break up because you're being stupidly selfish about it all. I hope the other woman rejects you too because she's going to be the rebound.
Are we all ignoring the fact that OP also took an active role in the split/bullying, he was hiding the fact that he was out partying with this group from his fiance. You don't hide something unless you know it's wrong.
Hey OP, I'll point out this slightly overlooked tidbit: What you did at your father's wedding was asinine, but not surprising for a 15 year old going through a parents remarriage. Your dad and his wife had a right to be passed off, but you were a kid, who is not legally recognized as an adult because you don't fully understand how to act at that age. Your step mother has no such excuse as a 50+ adult attending an adult child's wedding. She knows better, she has had years to come to terms and forgive what you did all that time ago. She instead decided to be petty and vindictive. She tried to ruin your day out of spite, and I'm glad you didn't let her.
She has no excuses as an an individual old enough to be your parent. She is held to higher standard than a child, and if your father wants to make this his hill to die on, he shows you that your relationship with him doesn't hold any real weight in his life. Sorry OP, but dump both of them and online a happier life. You deserve it.
I think it’s probably best to go your separate ways. It sounds like he’s looking for reasons to end the relationship by saying you’ll hold him back. Honestly, having someone there to help emotionally support you while going through a challenging curriculum is such a great help, it shouldn’t be viewed as holding you back if you have a good partnership – which it doesn’t seem like you do.
PS. If you’re in the US, law school admissions decisions for next fall are already coming out. He’s almost definitely too late to start applying to start school this coming August. He won’t go to law school for another year at least. He’s just making excuses to split up with you.
Continued silence is a perfectly acceptable answer/action. Live your life.
I don’t know if this is randomly selected from one person or happens to all the messages that he has, I only looked at his messages to her
Yeah, it’s still marriage counseling material that he thought this was okay in the first place. I have ADHD too, there are a lot of annoying things about living with us that we cannot control, this is not one of them. Christ, parentification of your spouse is a known ADHD pitfall but this isn’t about him screwing up the chore distribution, this is straight up “aww, you’re so funny when you’re mad.” Dick move, neurotypical or not.
He doesn’t like drugs and doesn’t want to interact with people who use drugs. That’s his boundary and a perfectly acceptable one to have. You on the other hand want to use drugs and that is also perfectly acceptable.. it means you two are incompatible and it’s probably better to separate now, you both hold different values and are on different paths in life
Dump him. Let him know he shares one more picture you are going to the cops for revenge porn
Even if you were into that sort of thing, its something you do together. Its ok to be kinky but you have to be upfront and have full consent. What he did is either criminal or just short of criminal.
yeah, forget my previous comments. this is the one.
He wanted you for sex, her for relationship. You aren’t going to get closure most likely, you should probably just block and work towards moving on.
I got engaged to someone I met off the internet after 4 weeks. We've been together over a decade now. I recommend this practice for everyone since it worked for me.
Wait. No. The other one, where I'm an outlier and this won't work for the majority of couples.
It actually sounds more like he's embarrassed that he overreacted and didn't listen to your side.
I guess avoiding her is the best option. Thank you
What a shitshow you've put yourself through. Considering your gf isn't your first choice, that's where the problems start and you'll never be truly happy together because the “what ifs” with the other woman is still a major thought.
I cant believe your gf hasn't dumped you over this! Have you even put yourself in her shoes or only thought of yourself?
Do your gf a favour and break up because you're being stupidly selfish about it all. I hope the other woman rejects you too because she's going to be the rebound.
Are we all ignoring the fact that OP also took an active role in the split/bullying, he was hiding the fact that he was out partying with this group from his fiance. You don't hide something unless you know it's wrong.
Hey OP, I'll point out this slightly overlooked tidbit: What you did at your father's wedding was asinine, but not surprising for a 15 year old going through a parents remarriage. Your dad and his wife had a right to be passed off, but you were a kid, who is not legally recognized as an adult because you don't fully understand how to act at that age. Your step mother has no such excuse as a 50+ adult attending an adult child's wedding. She knows better, she has had years to come to terms and forgive what you did all that time ago. She instead decided to be petty and vindictive. She tried to ruin your day out of spite, and I'm glad you didn't let her.
She has no excuses as an an individual old enough to be your parent. She is held to higher standard than a child, and if your father wants to make this his hill to die on, he shows you that your relationship with him doesn't hold any real weight in his life. Sorry OP, but dump both of them and online a happier life. You deserve it.
I think it’s probably best to go your separate ways. It sounds like he’s looking for reasons to end the relationship by saying you’ll hold him back. Honestly, having someone there to help emotionally support you while going through a challenging curriculum is such a great help, it shouldn’t be viewed as holding you back if you have a good partnership – which it doesn’t seem like you do.
PS. If you’re in the US, law school admissions decisions for next fall are already coming out. He’s almost definitely too late to start applying to start school this coming August. He won’t go to law school for another year at least. He’s just making excuses to split up with you.
Ah touche. Good point