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Date: January 15, 2023
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I don’t want her to wear it for 24 hours. I would be happy if she wears it on special occasions after showering before we have sex. I would do the same for her. I’m just afraid of being rude, I don’t want to look like a misogynist.
Now she knows how it feels. Empathy through experience. Not to mention its appropriate in this situation.
My brother, do not do this. Send her a “Hey, it’s been a while!” Message on Instagram or something. Take it from there.
Too dumb??? Don't imply you have to be dumb to be a victim of grooming. Anyone at any age can be groomed, its not exclusive to children and people 'too dumb to understand what's happening'.
So I have a couple thoughts-
This reminds me a lot of a really toxic relationship I had at 18 with a girl the same age as your girlfriend.
From what you’ve written, I get the sense you’re a pretty nice dude, but rather inelegant in your word choice from time to time (as many men are). You also mentioned you’re an over thinker, and I imagine you definitely love your gf.
It seems like you pick up on micro changes in her behavior or the way she acts, and as you seek closeness/clarity, she…yells at you? That’s not normal or healthy. I definitely understand the difference in communication style (she needs time to process her feelings then have a conversation after, but it seems you want to hash everything out immediately to make the anxiety of two arguing partners go away), but you don’t deserve the verbal attacks and abuse.
Separate from that, might be valuable to look into/Google anxious attachment style and see if any of that resonates with you. If you fear being left by your partner out of the blue after they start acting a little bit different, that might be a good place to start.
But overall, from reading this, it just seems you guys aren’t a good match on some key emotional/relational levels. And ultimately, does this feel exhausting to you? Having to chase someone’s affection, getting them to open up to you about their feelings after 1.5 years, constantly being afraid of the next time they’re gonna yell at you, having thought loops about this all, etc. I just get the sense you deserve better than dealing with this stuff, she sounds exhausting to keep up with the flips in emotion.