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Date: October 8, 2022
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That argument makes it sound as though you have only two choices: homelessness or living there. Fortunately there's a whole lifetime's worth of other options for you.
So he’s a liar and a cheater – and you’re miserable where he lives.
Time to get a move on.
Do not tell him. Right now, you were tempted. That is not cheating. When you tell him, you will be confessing to him that his worst fears as a husband – “I am not enough for my wife” – are real. You will shatter him in ways you do not understand.
Learn from this. Act on what you learn. Grow your relationship into what you want it to be. But do not tell him.
He could have worked with you to meet your goals. Also, tbh it seems like you had time to exercise and eat right once he was gone and not when he was there. He doesn’t sound like a helpful partner who lifts you up or keeps you motivated. The desire to just dump you for what amounts to purely cosmetic reasons (I know weight can be a factor in health issues but it doesn’t sound like you had any actual health concerns) and then get together again when he saw your social media is wild. What happens if you have an actual health problem? He sounds like one of those guys who abandons his partners when things get tough. If you are looking for an actual long term committed partner I’d pass on this one.
Good fuck please leave this man for your own good
*In my experience.
And yeah lol! I was surprised to find the stereotype goes both ways. I use to wonder if people were taking out past transgressions on my or something lmao!
And I'm talking about sucking at foreplay completely not just in relation to anal.
He is an idiot.
Leave him before he does catch something and pass it onto you
There’s nothing to make up for. You weren’t comfortable telling him at that moment. Explain to him why you withheld and told him later. If he’s a good guy, he should understand your point of view.
yes, that is reassuring, thank you! one comment i got on this post (before reddit deleted it :/) was that every relationship is different and in the end they choose me. i think that’s a good way to think about it. i do trust and love them, and want to be there for them whenever i can. my fear just comes from my own anxieties and such, which i’m working on. thank you for all this advice!
I know you didn’t purposefully try to hurt me.
I'm willing to bet that he did hurt her purposefully; based on the fact that he's done this multiple times despite her telling him that it hurts. I don't know about your situation, but this isn't the behavior of a man who feels remorseful for hurting his partner. She shouldn’t have to comfort him or be apologetic for “upsetting” him. He is 100% out of line.
It sounds like this relationship has come to a natural conclusion. There's nothing wrong with ending things if you're unhappy.
That should always be the first person you discuss with if it impacts both of them you before internet strangers. It’s okay to have mixed feelings about an old friendship but your marriage will only do well if transparency and seeking emotional support from him.