It’s not about the clothes- it’s about your discomfort about them. Which is valid and okay to feel. You two need to have a convo regarding boundaries within your relationship and whether or not this is something you’re okay with. I would cut to just dumping right away but having a respectful convo around how it makes you feel. Maybe there is a compromise? Like she doesn’t wear the hoodies around you? Or puts them away?
I get the impression that you are looking for that thing to say to your daughter that will get her to blow past the last 26 years of her life and allow you to be in it.
Why? Most of your post is about never wanting her. Why do you want a relationship now? Do you love your daughter?
I can only guess what it was like for you and your daughter, however what I do know is that the mother/daughter relationship is long, complicated, evolving, and requires an immense amount of thoughtful communication, restraint, and a retraining of expectations.
This is not a one shot deal. If you truly want your daughter in your life you need to tell her you love her, that you’re human, that you made mistakes and will more than likely continue to make mistakes, but that you want her in your life and are willing to try. And then TRY. EVERY. DAY.
If you don’t love her and are just feeling salty because “how dare she after everything you’ve done for her” not want you in her life, leave her the fuck alone.
This is very disturbing. I would even question if she is mentally fit to be in your relationship right now. A person like this is likely to not appreciate how well you treat them and seek validation from what she knows: abusive men. She is a masochist with low self-esteem and should definitely see a therapist and psychologist, perhaps even a psychiatrist.
Do not fall into the trap of co-dependency as her fixer. This is above your pay grade. Support her as a friend and encourage her to seek therapy, but it is impossible to be in a healthy relationship with such a person.
yeah, the guy that can't give his wife a bit of space as she works her way through the discomfort of late pregnancy and the establishment of breastfeeding and feeling touched out because baby cries any time she tries to put him down… is a total jerk.
Nah, it's red flag city that he is not down with signing a prenup. just the basic divorce statistics these days indicate it would be pure stupidity for someone who is going to inherit so much to not insist on a prenup. No one plans to get divorced when they marry. unless you are a gold digger who is just marrying for money…
It’s not about the clothes- it’s about your discomfort about them. Which is valid and okay to feel. You two need to have a convo regarding boundaries within your relationship and whether or not this is something you’re okay with. I would cut to just dumping right away but having a respectful convo around how it makes you feel. Maybe there is a compromise? Like she doesn’t wear the hoodies around you? Or puts them away?
Sounds like you need answers or movement one way or another.
Comfortable or not, he needs to be talking it out with you.
He needs a plan and to be clear about it.
Except for the fact that he doesn’t have a set career with benefits/ 401k / etc.
To each their own, but yeah, the average 35+ year old would definitely not be okay with that. Are you?
I get the impression that you are looking for that thing to say to your daughter that will get her to blow past the last 26 years of her life and allow you to be in it.
Why? Most of your post is about never wanting her. Why do you want a relationship now? Do you love your daughter?
I can only guess what it was like for you and your daughter, however what I do know is that the mother/daughter relationship is long, complicated, evolving, and requires an immense amount of thoughtful communication, restraint, and a retraining of expectations.
This is not a one shot deal. If you truly want your daughter in your life you need to tell her you love her, that you’re human, that you made mistakes and will more than likely continue to make mistakes, but that you want her in your life and are willing to try. And then TRY. EVERY. DAY.
If you don’t love her and are just feeling salty because “how dare she after everything you’ve done for her” not want you in her life, leave her the fuck alone.
This is very disturbing. I would even question if she is mentally fit to be in your relationship right now. A person like this is likely to not appreciate how well you treat them and seek validation from what she knows: abusive men. She is a masochist with low self-esteem and should definitely see a therapist and psychologist, perhaps even a psychiatrist.
Do not fall into the trap of co-dependency as her fixer. This is above your pay grade. Support her as a friend and encourage her to seek therapy, but it is impossible to be in a healthy relationship with such a person.
Tell him next time he grabs your nipples you will hit him in the balls.
yeah, the guy that can't give his wife a bit of space as she works her way through the discomfort of late pregnancy and the establishment of breastfeeding and feeling touched out because baby cries any time she tries to put him down… is a total jerk.
Nah, it's red flag city that he is not down with signing a prenup. just the basic divorce statistics these days indicate it would be pure stupidity for someone who is going to inherit so much to not insist on a prenup. No one plans to get divorced when they marry. unless you are a gold digger who is just marrying for money…