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1. My gift buying system is I buy silver necklace every Christmas. I do my best trying to be thoughtful when picking one and that is the limit of the effort I put in.

   The point is to balance effort and safety. I know wife if appriciate anything I pick, but there is room to do better than average too. I used to to struggle with gifts before I settled to the current system. One year pretty early on I didn't get her anything and learned that that was not an option going forward.

   I think you need to keep buying gifts, but also have a talk with you wife about how this is going to go. I would ask point blank for her to choose either no gifts or whatever gifts you want to give including short explanation why you chose it and no further comments from her other than a thank you and courteous present face.

   It honestly sounds a bit like her love language is mind reading and not gift giving.

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2. Lol. She values partying and having fun more than her own safety and this relationship. Run bro.

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3. INFO: is it only in certain settings that she has this type of response? Like I know you said “in public” but at a bar if someone came and put their arm around me I’d probably react exactly as she did if I wasn’t expecting to be touched unless my partner was already sitting next to me. It sounds like you came out of nowhere and touched her and she reacted to it. I just want to be sure I understand what’s actually happening here.

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4. PEG HIM. you might think it's a joke, but for real, say, if you wanna fuck my ass I get to fuck yours. It might work out for you, or he might find a new pleasure, who knows.

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5. I know the “I’m the indispensable hero” feeling is warm and fuzzy and makes you feel good and powerful, but you just have to accept the cold truth that you aren’t and she’ll figure something out without you.

   Be your own savior here.

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