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HARD ASS SHOW, FIRST PLUG AND THEN TOY INSIDE ASS???? [153 tokens remaining]
Date: February 16, 2023
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That's a more extreme reduction than I thought. Idk this whole situation seems weird and unhealthy on both ends and there's is no trust or comfort here for you two. A relationship should feel free and this doesn't sound like it at all.
Of course he was taken advantage of.
I don’t feel like my relationship issues are a deal breaker. Maybe I’m wrong. I have however lost myself the last couple of years and I have been through a lot (which are the reasons I have anxiety and depression).
I think it’s kinda weird that these things are being told to you by “A” that “S” has said… but “S” has never before ever mentioned or acted like he doesn’t want you there? Or did you just not mention that part?
It makes me think that either “S” hasn’t actually said anything about you not allowed to be there so much and “A” is using it as an excuse…
Or
“S” said to “A” something like: hey your GF is living here 1/2 of each week… you owe more for rent $ (which would be completely reasonable, since you are a 1/2 time roommate & do use utilities and such).
I am so sad for your boyfriend. He needs someone to lift him up and all you're doing is bringing more darkness to a bad situation.
She was a big part of his life.
They loved each other.
They broke up.
She died.
It's normal for him to want and need to go to the funeral to help bring closure to something really traumatizing.
Please break up with this man if this is the energy you bring to the relationship.
OP, start a group chat with everyone involved, EXCLUDING Sarah. Tell everyone up front this is a group chat excluding Sarah because she has become a problem and you need to discuss this problem with everyone without her there.
Then lay the whole thing out from your perspective:
Both Sarah and fiancee were at fault for the end of their relationship. Fiancee went nuclear, so she took the blame for the whole thing. Fiancee apologized for going nuclear; Sarah never apologized for her part in the end of their friendship. Fiancee has learned from this and moved on; she no longer expects to be a part of the friend group and has her own friends. BUT. Sarah WILL NOT LET IT DROP. She's been bringing it up over and over, both to people who were there, and to people who were not. She's turned the whole group against Fiancee to the point that people were openly snubbing fiancee AT HER OWN ENGAGEMENT EVENT. ALL OF THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. (you must emphasize this.) (And this is the most important part: your expectations) Therefore: you are banning Sarah from all wedding events from here on out. Bob is not banned, but if he feels he cannot attend if Sarah cannot, that's fine and no one will hold it against him. You EXPECT your friends to show up to support THE ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP; i.e. you AND fiancee, or to declare that you cannot and stay away. If you cannot, and stay away, understand that in your new, married life, you and fiancee will be seeking out friendships that you BOTH can participate in. You will not dump friends, but you will deprioritize friends who cannot be friends with fiancee.
If you want to talk to Bob about this first, go ahead, but still do this. Give everyone notice that THIS BULLSHIT STOPS NOW OR YOU'RE OUT OF OUR LIVES.
This is solid advice thank you
It sounds to me like your fiance just wants to help her mom, and is getting carried away after the lsos if her father.
Perhaps you can sit down with her and try and brainstorm other ways to help? On top of all of the suggestions on how to discuss this will her, of course.
Girl, you love none of them. You just don't know how to be alone and want to have it all.