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Date: October 4, 2022
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Think about the flip side. It’s your birthday.. And you are completely free to do whatever you feel. Be a bit irresponsible. Have a blast. Fine a one night stand and get a little wild. Happy birthday dude.
She didn’t go through with it, but mentally she decided that she wants to cheat on you. She took time and thought over your 8 years together and made the conscious decision to throw that away to have sex with this guy. She doesn’t have the (bullshit) excuse of a drunken mistake or something, she took time and thought it out and decided that sex with this guy was more important than what you have made with her for 8 years.
Whether or not she had sex with you, she’s already been unfaithful. Don’t approach this situation as “she didn’t cheat because she didn’t have sex.” She’s already been unfaithful and decided how little she values the relationship.
Is the relationship salvageable? Probably not. I’m a firm believer that cheating relationships can’t be saved. There’s always going to be some level of broken trust, and there’s always going to be some level of doubt in her mind of if she should’ve slept with him. I would walk away.
After 3 years, they still don't know me, let alone that she's dating.
This is not a healthy relationship. You will always come in at least third in her priorities (parents, job, and then maybe you). Do her parents even know she likes/is dating another female?
You had a period of time together but now you are moving in opposite directions. You will only hurt yourself if you continue to force yourself in try and be in a relationship that no longer works for you. Mourn the loss of this person but mostly mourn the loss of the relationship that you wanted but don't have.
How is she getting them at work? Is she letting the kids play in her hair? Is she letting the kids wear her hats?
Honestly, you can't manipulate your way around this. You will have to be honest with your husband, or honest with yourself. It's very hard, but it's what you need to do. It isn't right to deceive him, and then be upset when he won't do exactly what you want him to do. Would you like to be treated like that if the situation was reversed?
I'm glad you're finding yourself again. I would urge you to redefine what you think being a good partner is for your next relationship, though. You completely obliterated everything about yourself for him. I would encourage you, in any future relationships, to be an entire full complete person together with another entire full complete person.
It’s a waste of money and won’t “fix” anything. If you don’t trust him it’s over any ways. And today finding out where people are is pretty easy with technology. Good luck.
Rip that bandaid off, mate. It’s going to hurt but you’ll be much better off.
You don’t need us to tell you what’s happening here. You know.
You’re probably one of the many affairs he’s had during his marriage. I’m sure his wife knows & stays because she loves the life style he provides.
As a guy, the dirty/clean threshold is much lower.
Anyone who has lived with or been raised by men who keep a clean house with no help or chore charts by a woman needed can tell you this is bullshit.
This is some straight up “boys will be boys!” crap. This is not a guy thing at all.
I mean, not to disagree, but I feel if someone dressed up in sexy clothes and makeup and suggested a “nap” I'd know exactly what they were after but maybe that's just me?
Why is the terminology wrong? There’s research they’re related 50%-70% of people with ASD also have ADHD.
You have a personal preference forcing the issue. Doesn’t mean it’s not an accepted term. Language changes.
Sounds like you really realllyyy messed up during the partying phase you went through, glad you're on the other side of that now. But it can't undo the neglect and abandonment your husband was feeling for so long. Seems we now know where he was getting his emotional support while you were out drinking until 2, leaving him to solo parent with your children. A divorce is the best thing you can do for your family. Don't raise your kids with someone who cheats (even just emotionally) but also recognize that you were a massive part of the problem and why he turned away from the relationship.
Or try marriage counseling