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Date: October 10, 2022
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100% you did the right thing. Put yourself in her shoes, if you were being cheated on, would you want to know? Or would you rather other people knew but did not tell you? I would want to know, and I would appreciate the person who had the guts to say something. It takes guts to be the person who speaks up.
Yes.
Oh okay. Well thx
You could try bringing it up, but if she disagrees it's not your place to argue with her over it.
I would not engage with her ever again, block her and stay clear.
Get an STD test and get the fuck out of there. The ONLY person he’s lying to is you. I am so sorry, but no one lies about shit like that esp to their friends unless they’re a psychopath.
Yes, you were abusive. And deliberately controlling, which is abuse. If you feel the need to “dominate,” (yeesh) dominate YOURSELF. You shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone until you get professional help.
Wow, your wife deserves so much better than this.
These posts are so painful to read. The OP could mean anything between “he wasnt enthusiastic about a baby” to “he outright told me he would reject a baby” and there's no way for anyone to gear well reasoned advice to her situation. I don't think OP or her husband were being honest with each other and themselves.
Even if he was telling the truth, that it was from a woman months ago and he kept it in case she asked for it back…why hasn’t he just texted her to see if she wants it back? Why have it somewhere in his room where he would see it every day? Not worth it. Move on. I know dating can be intimidating when you haven’t been out there in a while but trust me, there are plenty of guys out there who don’t have random bras hanging in their rooms.
*than. Why would you compare how you love your kids and wives ? There are 2 different kind of loves. I think questioning your divorce should be done exclusively on the quality of your relationship with your wife. Whether you are able to face your issues and fix those together, whether you have both the mental flexibility to change, whether you want deep inside of you to spend your life with her.
Fuck no
You're being weird and hellbent. I already said that I want to have kids at 33, so obviously I don't think 33 year olds are barren wastelands. Women past the height of fertility on multiple methods of birth control shouldn't be getting pregnant twice in two years. I've been using one method at a time for over a decade and I've never been pregnant once. That's the experience of the vast majority of women on birth control.
Yeah that's what struck out to me. I trust my SO and know she wouldn't say something like that without good reason, so instead of being combative and unsupportive like OP, you should be supportive while being inquiring. I mean if you don't trust your spouse and you think they would make stuff like that up why would you be with them?
Reading all the rest of you comments, I think you are an amazing, loving and giving person – I really do mean it! I mean, carrying for someone that apparently does not care for you, working nude to support both of you, doing chores around the house and also being considered of his feelings. You deserve so much better than someone who just leaches of you.
Date people who don't need a caretaker?
Thank you, that's an important point to think about. The house I bought is a 3 bdrm 1200 sq ft house, and he's already mentioned wanting to sell it to upgrade to something much nicer when it's not his and we wouldn't be able to afford it. So I know that once we do move in together he's not going to want to budget and live within our means the way I'm accustomed to. I like my house and worked very very hot to renovate it on my own, I wouldn't add debt to sell and upgrade.
If you pay rent you’re a renter. They don’t set rules for renters
Well he sounds like an avoidant so he probably really appreciates space tbh – it’s not a good mix (I’m anxious attachment style too) – honestly the more loving you try to be the less he’ll like it and it’s probably a lot easier for this to end early than to let it drag on for a year like I did
when a friend is going through some situation (e.g. my friend wants kids, his wife does not, etc.), I share such facts with her and we discuss
How do your friends feel about this?
When I tell someone something, I told them, not their circle, not their partner.
If I found out my friend was sharing private information with someone that I hadn’t actively decided to share it with, we wouldn’t be friends for long.
He shushed you? Repeatedly? And you’re still with him?
Yeah queen this is typical fuck boy protocol ( I used to be one so I know)
It’s pretty obvious he’s stringing you along and taking advantage of you because he knows you won’t leave.
Finally, a realistic response!
you need therapy because you keep picking wrong people.
Troll
No.
Thanks a lot. I’m trying my best to heal and to feel better. It’s a long process, but I’m taking it step by step. But it’s still very hot.
Depends, is your long term goal to be in a place where you two can be friends, or is your long term goal to both be in a place to fully move on with your lives without one another in it? If this was taken as the end, no, I wouldn’t. If the goal was to get space to get over the relationship so you two could maintain a friendship indefinitely, something as simple as, “No need to reply but I hope you have a nice birthday!” Would probably be fine. More likely than not though, one or both of you wanted this to simply be the end.