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maya , ♡, 25 y.o.
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Date: October 1, 2022
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All I can say is if I had a low libido that was upsetting to my partner, I would not be encouraging them to go on dates with women they met on a dating app, particularly without expecting this outcome. Same with agreeing to a threesome.
He betrayed you by cheating for sure, but there is definitely a “play stupid games” component here. It sounds like he did the right thing by breaking it off. Because this whole situation, especially with the back and forth relationship, reads a bit toxic and immature for both people being in their 30s.
I recommend therapy.
Meh. If it works for you and your bf, it’s fine. Your sister should butt out.
I think you are probably misunderstanding or devaluing the nature of divorce law and marital assests in the US. Him having the house in his name simply protects him from you until you get married, and once you have children with him, no judge is going to kick you out.
Errrm… if he’s committing tax fraud, maybe you don’t want to commit to him?
What they said may have been out of line, but you took it to another level by combing through their post history and brought up their SO who has nothing to do with this, then later making fun of their shaken baby. You’re such a child OP
Presumably because he crossed an agreed-upon sexual boundary in his relationship.
Don't go through with the marriage. He obviously isn't over his ex, and until he is there is no reason moving on with him.
Counseling otherwise.
They’ll get over it
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Think it’s just a misunderstanding, where the person was assuming that you were saying they were married, when you were just saying to think about it as if they were married.
Sounds like she's grown up in an environment where her desires and/or needs were routinely dismissed or shamed. It can be really very hot for people that grow up like that to learn how to advocate for themselves, which is just … sad.
Two books that can help with this are:
“Toxic Parents” by Dr. Susan Forward – it talks about dysfunctional family patterns, how to recognize them, how they get reinforced and maintained, what steps to take to break out of them, and what to expect as backlash when you do so. Reading this might help BOTH of you recognize toxic relationship patterns in your lives.
“Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie – this one teaches the reader about personal boundaries, how damaging their absence is to every relationship, romantic or not, and how to identify your own boundaries, communicate them, and enforce them. This one was life-changing for me – because it opened my eyes to how many times in my childhood I was criticised for having any needs at all. And I have come to realize how much of my difficulties in relationships originated in my stuffing down my feelings instead of communicating them and the boundaries that arise from them.
Good luck, OP – it is frustrating to deal with people like that, but if you are invested in the relationship, I hope either or both of those books help the two of you.
It will be MUCH more complicated when you're suddenly pregnant and have to stop work to take care of a newborn. Your beloved boyfriend is literally trying to sabotage your body autonomy.
Do you on-line together already? If you do, can you stay with family or a good friend for a while?
He's not hearing you, dear.
OP is a woman.
Uhh…what?
Alright I will ^
Thank you for your perspective
Yes, when before we started officially dating we agreed we we would be dating to get married. This is why I'm so surprised by his reaction and why I was so comfortable with suggesting a timeline.
I totally agree, I should not have started the conversation off that way.